2014 New Years Resolution aka "The post that should have been published on January 1st, not March 21st"

It has been a while since I've blogged about myself. So this will be a long post. Also 2 1/2 months late. I gave up adding to it or editing it.

2013 in a nutshell (a really big nut): Last year, God was very good to me. I didn't deserve it.

Got to start with Urbana '12. it's been a year, but I cannot forget. Let us not forget Urbana '09 or Urbana '12.

"He dwelled among us"

The Great Invitation – God's command for us to gather people for His banquet.

Fear of God over fear of man. God's sovereignty (how PCCC and ACF are the first fellowship that I have really see embody this and embrace it in their daily speech. How Presbyterian tradition has us recite it on Sundays). Do not underestimate God, do not box Jesus up or let Him conform to your own religion/worldview/image (from Urbana). My identity in Christ, that I shall become more Christ-like every day (not in labels like Calvinist or Baptist, not in songwriters, for the gospel has become more about songwriters than the Bible - Paul Washer).

Sunder Krishnan during Urbana '09 talked about how Peter and John prayed in Acts 4 to a God who is sovereign and the creator of everything, and in reply God sent the Holy Spirit to shake the very ground they stood, and all the saints were emboldened. Pray big and pray bold.

http://vimeo.com/69096015

"What kind of people would we be if we are filling our radar screens with a God who is sovereign, creator, redeemer, and worker?" - Sunder Krishnan

There is a balance between God as love and God as sovereign, you need to understand God as creator, God as wrathful, and God as majestic, as well as God as savior, God as Father, and God as he-who-loves-you-more-than-anyone-in-the-world-to-the-point-of-absolute-incomprehension. Sometimes we forget one, and sometimes we forget both.

It is very curious, I started out as a person who lived out God's love and mercy as a kid, but something horrendous happened to me that forced me all the way across the field to become a Christian who knew too many bible verses, read too many theology and apologetic books,  and upheld the upmost level of purity and "moral" living that I became what was called a "super-Christian" in others' eyes. I remember writing back in my sophomore year that I realized this danger, how a faith based around theology was faith on "easy-mode", and I sought to remove my nose from the books that I truly did enjoy so that I can spend more time putting my ear on people's hearts.

Let me continue to grow and change, because if I encounter God every day, how can I not change?

“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am” - John Newton

Love your wife as Jesus loved the church. I like how this shifts the focus back onto Jesus, from a specific topic back to the bigger all-encompassing picture. To be able to know what love is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOh0Ts1xDmM Matt Chandler), and understand that though I will never truly understand or know Jesus' love for the Church, that together with my brothers and sisters (and one day my wife) I can begin to "grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ" is (Ephesians 3:18). From all my research and studying, I have concluded that for a man to be spiritually ready to start dating, he must make the connection exemplified in that sentence "Love your wife as Jesus loved the church" Ephesians 5:25 (along with having God first in his life...duh).

"You ought to marry someone who's willing to go anywhere for God. If they're not, they're out." - John Piper

Power of prayer - CWC and my birth. How there have been times in my life I have cursed God for bringing me so much physical pain and emotional pain and betrayal, but I realize that Jesus went through so much more pain, and he came to understand me, to come down in the flesh to be able to tell me "I know." Need constant prayer for boldness and reminder that I cannot earn my salvation. Reminded that I'm forgiven, and I need to love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrpRAEm-2RQ  Gravity - Matt Chandler

Jesus has dealt with rejection. If Jesus has faced more rejection, abandonment, and pain than you ever could on your behalf, then you can face head-on the rejection of your past and the problems you are going through relationally right now with your head held high! When He is for you who can be against you? - Pastor Kyle Turner
 

"Prayer is an acknowledgement that God is in control over that person"- Darrin Patrick

(Serenity Prayer, Psalm 42, Psalm 51, Psalm 55, Psalm 73, Psalm 139, Bobby Gross prayer aka Psalm 90)

Prayer has always been the weakest pillar (of the 4: prayer, scripture, community, and evangelism)  in my spiritual faith, I have come a long way and yet a lot longer way to go. This is one of the things I envy in the charismatic/Pentecostal faith, how easy it is for them to pray. Let us see what Bill Hybels has to say in his book...seems like a very simple book, but prayer should be simple (liking calling up an old friend on the phone, again something that has become harder and harder to do in our generation).

How I handled the youth group at GKCCCC, the need for a pastor and mature youth leaders, the difference between dead and broken, similarity to Paul Washer's sermons and what children look like grown on that kind of teaching.

2014:

"Few people arise in the morning as hungry for God as they are for cornflakes or toast and eggs.” - Dallas Willard

This year I need to return to the scripture more. Dive into the richness of Scripture (quote Francis Chan).

It has been 2 years since I started writing a devotional (almost) every day. Still going strong.

Understand the full message of the gospel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfB9l7jUYSY The Gospel - Matt Chandler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSTG2DeJlpk What is the Gospel - John Piper and Britt Merrick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygf3MWEbd3w Reality - Paul Washer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--JiiuJNvt4 Suffering John Piper
http://vimeo.com/53517724 The Gospel Shaped Life - Tim Keller

Detailed study on the theology in Romans, the practicality in James, and the Corinthians and Thessalonians (since Ephesians and Colossians was done by ACF and Galatians was done during summer, though those might need a recap). Haggai (because the OT is as important as the NT)

Read through the entire Bible in general (I want that lavishness and richness of being with Jesus alone that Francis Chan spoke of, something greater than the birth of his only son), given I have heard 100-200 sermons last year, they have become kind of repetitive, but the Word of God will never become boring.

Focus on the importance and absolute magnitude of the Holy Spirit, do not marginalize it! Don't equate it with some spiritual "force" that works through emotions. He is the Helper, he is the comforter, he is one who speaks wisdom into us, and guides in the truth of the scripture. He is working the strongest in us during the times when we don't feel, when we cannot sum up the passion to praise God, it is during those times when His Strength is there to carry us (think about footprints in the sand).

“When we are at our wits’ end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own?" -Karl Barth

Serving, now that the promise has been made, whether be it in ACF, or IV, or Veritas, or in the local churches in Pittsburgh, or in nursing homes, or in the graduate/BME community. Maybe study and teach on the fear of God, Holy Spirit, and stewardship. Being a leader for my younger brothers, and learn to gleam wisdom from my older brothers, how I have never had discipleship or mentoring and how this has impinged upon my ability to be a Christian leader, and I see this similarity in my younger brother as well - Discipleship, what is the cost of discipleship? What does it mean to make disciples? 

Maximize singleness for God - read, study, grow, pray, serve, do ministry, help those in need (Mark Driscoll). Let me try not to mock my own gift of purity, or curse God for giving me it. 

There are times where I wish my testimony can start with "I was deeply addicted to pornography or sex." Why on earth would I ever want that? Because those testimonies always seem more impactful and relatable than mine. Being not very...sexually driven sucks, since it is hard for me to relate and even harder for me to lead other men. Importance of purity and the truly ignorance of it in the Christian faith (pornography leads to sex trafficking http://unearthedpictures.com).

Spend less money (no more buying games or books or toys, and try to eat out less). I've already started expressing this by resisting the urge to buy "Scribbling in the Sand", a book about how artists can use the gift of creativity to worship Jesus without compromising their servant status in God's kingdom. Someone please buy these books for me as gifts! Mah wishlist.

Let me smile more this year. Though I may have a severe case of Prognathism, aka underbite, which has led to me not having an actual "full-toothed" smile, and makes me seem like I am making a face when I clench my teeth together (I have since learned to never ever have my teeth together during the day, though I still see that stretched frown from time to time when I watch myself eat), I hope that my small Mona Lisa-esque smile will be enough to touch people's hearts and at least remind them that I am still a cheerful person.

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”― Mother Teresa

Gratitude: be more thankful for the things people do for me, and be more thankful to God. Not being grateful for what I had before really hurt other people, as we all desire some acknowledgement from the people we serve and help. Now I know. Now I won't forget to say that all important "thank you for being there."
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

This stands as a testimony of what God has been doing in my life last year and will be doing in this year.  May He continue do to something new in my life everyday, and I continue to share to everyone what a wonderful God He is. The greatest love we can share to another is the Gospel.

God is writing a KICK-ASS story. All I have to do is believe.