Eggs in One Basket

All my eggs are placed in God's basket.

Mark 12 - How would i feel if my mom, or dad, or brother, or a close friend died and left me? What if i believed they would go to hell? Will i truly find joy in heaven knowing that people i care for are in hell facing the punishment of their sins. Could i have done something about it?

My parents are struggling with this problem right now, with my grandparents and relatives. So am i. I fear for my friends who might not be in heaven with me when the time of judgment comes. It may sound like heresy, but i truly care for them, and so, i will live my life for them.

The Holy Spirit, the Helper, is ignored a lot in Christianity. When was the last time you prayed about the Holy Spirit? Or heard a sermon about it? When was the last time you called upon the Holy Spirit, which dwells within you, for help or guidance? While Jesus is preparing a place for me in heaven and God the Father is watching over me from above, the Holy Spirit dwells in me, convicting me of my sin, and acts as my conscience in my daily life. I must meditate on the Word, day and night.

Do i have a testimony? What basis of experience do i have? That of my church? no...that will not do. Do i have go even farther into my past? What about my birth? I will admit, that is a miracle. I have a bucketful of testimonies: many good ones, many passionate ones, one for almost every situation. But none of them are mine. All i can share is how much hurt ive gone through, and maybe how God has led me through them. Is that it? While writing this post...i have found my "something" i can base it on.

So a goal, when i go back to my church for Thanksgiving, i really believe my bitterness will melt away when i take pictures of the young, and the old, and those who have hurt me, and those who have supported me all this time. These pictures will represent the reconciliation i will have with those i have grew up with all my life. If i do not take 100 pictures, i will not feel satisfied.

Going home: It is to re-ignite my ambition for academics. It is why i came to WashU is it not? That, and to find an asian fellowship that will accept me. I have found it, albeit i used sheer will power and prayer to get there. This is why i have been striving to move forward, and i shall continue this momentum till i leave here.