True Relationships

Well, along with my promise to God i will not be bitter again, i am truly happy to see how my friendships and relationships have been growing this year. Ive never, ever, had a true fellowship before...and i came into college dearly seeking one. To be honest, i never found it initially, and to be honest, no one in ACF ever sought out to me, or reached their hand to me. I was bitter then, but i will forgive them now. Instead, i will not do the same as they have, but reach out to everyone i see, friend or foe.

Me being open about my feelings ive had for the last 2 years with everyone recently has created deeper relationships with a lot of people, not only in ACF among the guys, but even among the girls and definitely many relationships outside of ACF, outside of Christianity too. I have also made new friendships, and new bonds. I hope i don't lose any of them now that I am moving on and don't need to lean on them that much anymore. I have been much more open my junior year, not like the bitter and depressed Daniel of sophomore year who couldn't understand why he never truly fit into ACF. If is very different from the Daniel of freshmen year, so willing to move on and forget the past, ready to make a clean state, but was choked in his own fears and created so many barriers around him that he couldn't escape.

I am glad i had those feelings. The last two years are NOT a waste of time. But I am ready to stand back and let it unfold, and i am willing to move on. Hey, if things are willing to catch up to where i will be in the future, then i will accept them as they come. Things are no longer in my hands, and i guess they never was. God placed me in a church where i had no fellowship among people my age. But i learned about Truth. God placed me in a class where there were so few Christians. But i was able to build relationships in 3 fellowships, and break class boundaries. God placed me in a fellowship without any other junior guys to bond with, but i am now able to have fellowship with everyone else. God did these things for a reason, and now i have finally figured it out.

I am truly thankful for everyone who has supported me through my tough times. Because of my feelings, i have been more open to people than i ever have. Thank you everyone in ACF who has been praying for me and caring for me. Thank you everyone at WashU who has cared for me. Thank you that one soul in Japan who has never ceased to stop worrying about me, i hope you are having a wonderful time there. Thank you everyone back home and about at college who has been caring about me and praying for me. Thank you my parents who never stopped loving me, never stopped teaching me, never stopped worrying about me when i repeatedly broke your hearts. I never stop thanking God for all the relationships i have been building these few years of my life. I will care for others. I am willing to die for others. I cannot bear to see others hurt. I am joyful when i see other relationships blossom. These are all i need. What God gives, he takes away, but God knows what i need, so i need not worry about it. True men of God do not worry about their fears and needs, they just confront them like a man and take it in the face.

I now have confidence in myself, and i now know how to utilize it. Give it all to God.