2014 New Years Resolution aka "The post that should have been published on January 1st, not March 21st"

It has been a while since I've blogged about myself. So this will be a long post. Also 2 1/2 months late. I gave up adding to it or editing it.

2013 in a nutshell (a really big nut): Last year, God was very good to me. I didn't deserve it.

Got to start with Urbana '12. it's been a year, but I cannot forget. Let us not forget Urbana '09 or Urbana '12.

"He dwelled among us"

The Great Invitation – God's command for us to gather people for His banquet.

Fear of God over fear of man. God's sovereignty (how PCCC and ACF are the first fellowship that I have really see embody this and embrace it in their daily speech. How Presbyterian tradition has us recite it on Sundays). Do not underestimate God, do not box Jesus up or let Him conform to your own religion/worldview/image (from Urbana). My identity in Christ, that I shall become more Christ-like every day (not in labels like Calvinist or Baptist, not in songwriters, for the gospel has become more about songwriters than the Bible - Paul Washer).

Sunder Krishnan during Urbana '09 talked about how Peter and John prayed in Acts 4 to a God who is sovereign and the creator of everything, and in reply God sent the Holy Spirit to shake the very ground they stood, and all the saints were emboldened. Pray big and pray bold.

http://vimeo.com/69096015

"What kind of people would we be if we are filling our radar screens with a God who is sovereign, creator, redeemer, and worker?" - Sunder Krishnan

There is a balance between God as love and God as sovereign, you need to understand God as creator, God as wrathful, and God as majestic, as well as God as savior, God as Father, and God as he-who-loves-you-more-than-anyone-in-the-world-to-the-point-of-absolute-incomprehension. Sometimes we forget one, and sometimes we forget both.

It is very curious, I started out as a person who lived out God's love and mercy as a kid, but something horrendous happened to me that forced me all the way across the field to become a Christian who knew too many bible verses, read too many theology and apologetic books,  and upheld the upmost level of purity and "moral" living that I became what was called a "super-Christian" in others' eyes. I remember writing back in my sophomore year that I realized this danger, how a faith based around theology was faith on "easy-mode", and I sought to remove my nose from the books that I truly did enjoy so that I can spend more time putting my ear on people's hearts.

Let me continue to grow and change, because if I encounter God every day, how can I not change?

“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am” - John Newton

Love your wife as Jesus loved the church. I like how this shifts the focus back onto Jesus, from a specific topic back to the bigger all-encompassing picture. To be able to know what love is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOh0Ts1xDmM Matt Chandler), and understand that though I will never truly understand or know Jesus' love for the Church, that together with my brothers and sisters (and one day my wife) I can begin to "grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ" is (Ephesians 3:18). From all my research and studying, I have concluded that for a man to be spiritually ready to start dating, he must make the connection exemplified in that sentence "Love your wife as Jesus loved the church" Ephesians 5:25 (along with having God first in his life...duh).

"You ought to marry someone who's willing to go anywhere for God. If they're not, they're out." - John Piper

Power of prayer - CWC and my birth. How there have been times in my life I have cursed God for bringing me so much physical pain and emotional pain and betrayal, but I realize that Jesus went through so much more pain, and he came to understand me, to come down in the flesh to be able to tell me "I know." Need constant prayer for boldness and reminder that I cannot earn my salvation. Reminded that I'm forgiven, and I need to love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrpRAEm-2RQ  Gravity - Matt Chandler

Jesus has dealt with rejection. If Jesus has faced more rejection, abandonment, and pain than you ever could on your behalf, then you can face head-on the rejection of your past and the problems you are going through relationally right now with your head held high! When He is for you who can be against you? - Pastor Kyle Turner
 

"Prayer is an acknowledgement that God is in control over that person"- Darrin Patrick

(Serenity Prayer, Psalm 42, Psalm 51, Psalm 55, Psalm 73, Psalm 139, Bobby Gross prayer aka Psalm 90)

Prayer has always been the weakest pillar (of the 4: prayer, scripture, community, and evangelism)  in my spiritual faith, I have come a long way and yet a lot longer way to go. This is one of the things I envy in the charismatic/Pentecostal faith, how easy it is for them to pray. Let us see what Bill Hybels has to say in his book...seems like a very simple book, but prayer should be simple (liking calling up an old friend on the phone, again something that has become harder and harder to do in our generation).

How I handled the youth group at GKCCCC, the need for a pastor and mature youth leaders, the difference between dead and broken, similarity to Paul Washer's sermons and what children look like grown on that kind of teaching.

2014:

"Few people arise in the morning as hungry for God as they are for cornflakes or toast and eggs.” - Dallas Willard

This year I need to return to the scripture more. Dive into the richness of Scripture (quote Francis Chan).

It has been 2 years since I started writing a devotional (almost) every day. Still going strong.

Understand the full message of the gospel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfB9l7jUYSY The Gospel - Matt Chandler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSTG2DeJlpk What is the Gospel - John Piper and Britt Merrick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygf3MWEbd3w Reality - Paul Washer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--JiiuJNvt4 Suffering John Piper
http://vimeo.com/53517724 The Gospel Shaped Life - Tim Keller

Detailed study on the theology in Romans, the practicality in James, and the Corinthians and Thessalonians (since Ephesians and Colossians was done by ACF and Galatians was done during summer, though those might need a recap). Haggai (because the OT is as important as the NT)

Read through the entire Bible in general (I want that lavishness and richness of being with Jesus alone that Francis Chan spoke of, something greater than the birth of his only son), given I have heard 100-200 sermons last year, they have become kind of repetitive, but the Word of God will never become boring.

Focus on the importance and absolute magnitude of the Holy Spirit, do not marginalize it! Don't equate it with some spiritual "force" that works through emotions. He is the Helper, he is the comforter, he is one who speaks wisdom into us, and guides in the truth of the scripture. He is working the strongest in us during the times when we don't feel, when we cannot sum up the passion to praise God, it is during those times when His Strength is there to carry us (think about footprints in the sand).

“When we are at our wits’ end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own?" -Karl Barth

Serving, now that the promise has been made, whether be it in ACF, or IV, or Veritas, or in the local churches in Pittsburgh, or in nursing homes, or in the graduate/BME community. Maybe study and teach on the fear of God, Holy Spirit, and stewardship. Being a leader for my younger brothers, and learn to gleam wisdom from my older brothers, how I have never had discipleship or mentoring and how this has impinged upon my ability to be a Christian leader, and I see this similarity in my younger brother as well - Discipleship, what is the cost of discipleship? What does it mean to make disciples? 

Maximize singleness for God - read, study, grow, pray, serve, do ministry, help those in need (Mark Driscoll). Let me try not to mock my own gift of purity, or curse God for giving me it. 

There are times where I wish my testimony can start with "I was deeply addicted to pornography or sex." Why on earth would I ever want that? Because those testimonies always seem more impactful and relatable than mine. Being not very...sexually driven sucks, since it is hard for me to relate and even harder for me to lead other men. Importance of purity and the truly ignorance of it in the Christian faith (pornography leads to sex trafficking http://unearthedpictures.com).

Spend less money (no more buying games or books or toys, and try to eat out less). I've already started expressing this by resisting the urge to buy "Scribbling in the Sand", a book about how artists can use the gift of creativity to worship Jesus without compromising their servant status in God's kingdom. Someone please buy these books for me as gifts! Mah wishlist.

Let me smile more this year. Though I may have a severe case of Prognathism, aka underbite, which has led to me not having an actual "full-toothed" smile, and makes me seem like I am making a face when I clench my teeth together (I have since learned to never ever have my teeth together during the day, though I still see that stretched frown from time to time when I watch myself eat), I hope that my small Mona Lisa-esque smile will be enough to touch people's hearts and at least remind them that I am still a cheerful person.

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”― Mother Teresa

Gratitude: be more thankful for the things people do for me, and be more thankful to God. Not being grateful for what I had before really hurt other people, as we all desire some acknowledgement from the people we serve and help. Now I know. Now I won't forget to say that all important "thank you for being there."
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

This stands as a testimony of what God has been doing in my life last year and will be doing in this year.  May He continue do to something new in my life everyday, and I continue to share to everyone what a wonderful God He is. The greatest love we can share to another is the Gospel.

God is writing a KICK-ASS story. All I have to do is believe.

Smash

Today I played smash at CMU. I was printing out 5 papers for Advanced Cell Bio when I saw them button mashing in the hall across from the printer. I sat down in front of a blue-hued only TV and asked how could I get in on a round. I played one game, and it happened to be against the person hosting the friendlies, probably one of the better players in the group. I lost, but only barely. I gave the john "I haven't played competitively since sophomore year," and could have said I needed a warm-up (which wouldn't happen as they closed up shop right after) and he had 5 hours to get his fingers nimble. Still, it was the most exhilarating thing I felt this entire year, and my body is still shaking from the excitement an hour later. I think I might play on Saturday, in between Vision School and men's cell group. It was so weird to play smash after attending ACF and KUPC prayer meetings tonight.

At the KUPC prayer meeting, one of the freshmen wanted to give up his childish ways, as according to 1 Corinthians 13. I wonder if smash was one of my childish ways. I know from experience that smash is no more childish than any other hobby, such as sports or watching tv shows, and the childish part is placing it as a priority in life over God's glory and purpose for you. It is only considered childish from an American cultural standpoint, since in the future, maybe within 100 years, it is for certain the whatever the new wave of e-sports will be, they will dominate in popularity over soccer or football one day. You already see that trend with LOL and DOTA.

Like I told the head smasher at CMU, I quit playing competitively at the end of my sophomore year. I gave it up so I could lead ACF and a inter-fellowship prayer meeting. Since then I technically didn't even own a copy of the game. Today I wondered for the first time if that was truly the best decision I made in my life. Is it really that bad if the coordinator of a campus fellowship indulges in video games? Could I have used it to minister to people? Would it have been any different than sports ministry? Traditionally, video/computer gaming has been the dominant way of inviting Asians and Asian Americans into the Christian community, especially in California and overseas. Obviously you don't stop the friendship, accountability, and honesty at the gaming level, but go deeper into the Love of Christ and scripture, but it is a good place to start. Again it is only bad for you if you turn it into an idol, as with any idol in life.

I ask myself, "is it wrong for me to get this excited about playing a game of smash?" When have I ever gotten that excited, that whole body shaking with elation feeling, for God?

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. 1 Corinthians 12:4-6

May I use it for the Glory of Him, or not at all.

Looks like I've been mixing smash with faith since 2009 :P

edit: So I ended up going to a smash tourney the following Saturday at CMU to try a little bit of video game ministry aka reach out to a specific brother in ACF whom I have seen hurting lately, and just maybe God can use smash to help me get to know him better and reach out to him (whether I can at all with God's power or this might not be within God's plan for me will require more discernment). I didn't even realize it was a tournament, but I wouldn't have given up going to Vision School, or eating out with two brothers I haven't before at Pamela's, and I would have lost very fast anyways. It was fun, the brother did come and I did get a chance to follow-up, so lets see where this takes me.

I Don't Know

I don't know the science about myself. I don't know my body works, with all its feelings, emotions, urges, and instincts. I don't know why I enjoy the things I enjoy, like the things I like, and have addictions uniquely to me. I don't know why I get depressed, or how the shaping of my hypothalamus plays a part in it.

I don't know why I hold on so dearly to the memories I contain. I don't know how "memory engrams " or "LTP" or even "prion-like proteins" determine the memories of my family, of my friends, or even the memory that I know God. I don't know when I should forget them, or when to remember them, or if they have any significance at all.

I don't know people. I don't know what they are thinking, or where they have come from. I don't know the experiences they've had, the environment they grew up in, or how friends or family have influenced them. I don't know how much suffering they have endured, or how much hatred has been fired their way. I don't know who God is to them, and where God is leading them. I don't know their future.

I don't know how to help people. I don't know when to speak up or to be silent. I don't know when to embrace or give space. I don't know what words they want to hear or need to hear. I don't know how to cure their pain or heal their wounds. I don't know how to be a friend who cares.

I don't know love. Oh I thought I knew when I was younger; how romance worked and how I should prepare for marriage. But the older I got, the more I realized how much I really didn't know. I realized how little I know about God, or that He is Love (1 John 4:16). In the words of King David, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain (Psalm 139:6)." He is expressing his awe of God's sovereignty, of God's omniscience (v1-6), of God's omnipresence (v7-12), and of God the personal designer (v13-18). I think I know who God is in my head, but it's going to take a lifetime to know it in my heart. When I talk to old couples, they will tell me that they have realized the love they have, cupped between mutually wrinkled hands, is only a drop in the vastness of the ocean that is God. I am just a person who understands 1% of love (not even), and my entire life's goal is to make it to 2%. I don't know the happiness I will have when I stand before the Lord and know the fullness of His Love for me.

(Title inspiration from Rae of Sun)

The Dangerous Act of Worship

"Safe worship. It’s the kind of primrose path that draws us but misleads us. It has the allure of beauty but can mask pain, alienation, injustice. It can have us feeling better but does nothing to help others who suffer. It can occupy so much energy and time that it leaves us too tired for ministry that might actually take us to where the needs are greatest. It can lead us to feel faith, but not actually to believe. It can lead us to imply we are trusting, without ever really taking a risk. It can preoccupy us with the false dangers of worship while we miss the real ones. It leaves us safe-which can mean lost, disengaged, disconnected, disinterested. So we often leave our services with what we came for, which sadly and ironically means we have little more than when we arrived. For better and worse, everything that matters is at stake in worship." 
- Mark Labberton

I still remember being handed this book while working at City Lights Urban Mission Project. “Look at the cover, what do you see?” said Gerry Chappeau, head of the Poverty track at Urbana 2012 and greatest mentors in my life. There stands a grand church, costing millions to build, with a huge door looming over a man. A man who is left outside. Ignored by the church. Ignored by fellowship.

Many live like this.




This book review really does this book justice (unintended pun).

http://vimeo.com/35959114

Bahahahaha I have so little social media presence, the only person that likes my Facebook posts is my dad.

Yesterday I had the chance to talk to an esteemed professor of Biomedical Engineering, Dr. Ross Ethier of Georgia Tech, about glaucoma. Sometime during the meet and greet, he asked me what my Urbana t-shirt meant, and all I said was "oh...just a conference I went to." I didn't even mention it was a Christian conference or even a missions conference.

Things are always like that in the scientific sphere. You don't talk about faith, even though a good number of scientists are Christians, and even more are Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu. I don't know if I was genuinely afraid of mentioning my faith in front of this hot shot and other professors from UPitt and CMU, or was I just following professionalism. I still remember talking to Dr. Marshall about attending Urbana 2012, as that was the reason why I was in St. Louis at the time and able to meet up with him. As a person truly living on the edge of science and religion, I wonder all the time if they can ever complement one another on a social level even if they are compatible at a veracious level.

Was there fear? Was this a missed opportunity? What if he was also someone who had a strong faith? 

He looked and sounded a lot like Christopher Lee, Saruman from Lord of the Rings. Pretty cool and intimidating.

Memoric Resonance

After re-reading my post on memories from 2011, I was amazed by how well I wrote back in the day. Now 3 years later, the post felt more relevant than ever, as people in the past are fading faster and faster away into the abyss.

There was one thing I noticed that I lacked back in the day, and that is the hope in God to sustain me and be enough for me. I am truly glad for the memories God has given me, and I have always wondered what would happen if tomorrow I lost all my memories of faith. Would God still invite me into Heaven to be in his presence? Are my memories really just a collection of LTPs or memorgy engrams produced by prion-like proteins in the frontal lobe? Will removing my hippocampus really eliminate my trust in God?

Yesterday I went to the Mattress Factory, and I saw an exhibit where the artist conveys how her memories (black yarn) entangle and connect all aspects of her life, as show below.

I wonder if my life will look like that? I haven't even gotten married yet. Will I use memories as justifications for actions in the future? Will my happiness be in part determined by the number of positive experiences I have with my family, my wife, my fellowship?

I really hope it doesn't.

Idols Con't

A continuation of the topic of idolatry, I think I've found out a way to test whether something is an idol. The power of loss is a very terrible thing.

If tomorrow comes and something ceases to exist in the world, how would we cope with it? Would our life somehow lost its meaning, even in part? Would we shed tears over it? Would it feel like we have become a little more empty?

I am sure if video games or anime completely disappeared tomorrow, I would be fine with it.
If the entire female side of humanity were to cease existing, I wouldn't worry about it.
If we no longer need to eat food to live, I think I can live with that.
If music or theology books stopped existing, my worship of the Lord would still be there.
If I lost all my friends and family died tomorrow, it would shake me down to the core, but it won't break me, for my strength will be in the Lord.

But if God stopped existing tomorrow, I wonder how would I feel? Would life lose all its meaning? Would I break down completely into sorrow and despair? Or would I be just dandy?

"What does it mean to go to the Cross to die to the self life? When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ, that is dying to self. When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinion ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence, that is dying to self. When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God, that is dying to self. When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown, that is dying to self. When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met, and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy or question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances, that is dying to self. When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart, that is dying to self. Are you dead yet? In these last days, the Spirit would bring us to the cross 'hat I may know Him...being made conformable to His death.'" (Unknown, but most likely Watchman Nee)

The Most Important Aspect of a Young Adult Fellowship

From someone who had to be dragged to fellowship to serving for now the 11th continuous year, God had many grace in my life and church/campus fellowship had being one of the greatest blessings of my life, it gave me great joy and along the way formed many deep friendships.

Through the years, have seen people grow in Christ and finding joy in fellowship, but at the same time, have seen just as much diversions, arguments and people leaving for various reasons . I am not saying people who leave are necessarily wrong to do so, sometimes I think the reasons are justified. It’s just got me thinking: what is the most important purpose of a youth/young adult church fellowship?

I think the primary goal is not trying to get members to have 归属感 through programs and songs, its not about having the right chemistry among committee members, its not about bonding through common interests, its not about finding your spouse, its not even about discovering your talents. The most important thing a youth fellowship can and should do is to point a person to Jesus Christ. To show him/her through the bible the reality and significance/assurance of the salvation we have received so that he/she will treasure and value Christ above all other things. If they are struggling, then the fellowship is there to help them and support them. The Lord Jesus Christ is the most beautiful treasure we can have in this life, and only when a person sees the reality of that, can he/she truly serve in love and willingness. 

All other things are secondary. Even if you build the perfect committee, perfect program, how long can it last? 2 years? 5 years? You might feel it will last forever, but in reality 天下没有不散的宴席。Our lives are short, and when a young person attends church fellowship but misses Jesus Christ, then it’s a great tragedy. Don’t let church life be built on camaraderie alone, because it’s not forever, what if you go overseas? If a young person/unbeliever cannot know Jesus Christ through a youth fellowship, then where will they go? - David Huang

I thought I’d share a thought my cousin had on fellowship. It was a great reminder for me too. I have been guilty of finding a fellowship for the sense of belonging for a long time. Only in heaven will there be a never-ending feast. For now (and forevermore) God is enough.

Feelings Con't

It is okay to feel.

It is okay to feel happy. I feel happy being around the people I like, and it helps build our friendships. Happiness adds a little beauty into the scary and hurtful world that we live in.

It is okay to feel sadness. It is okay to feel sad when a girl rejects you. Even more so when you learn your child has died in an accident, or you get that phone call that tells you your mom has cancer, or your dad had a heart attack. I DARE someone to tell me that feeling sad means my faith or trust in God is not enough.

It is okay to feel anger. I get angry when I hear that missionaries are slaughtered all over the world, almost every day. I get angry when I learn about sex trafficking, or realize how many children are being abandoned in other countries and in the states.

It might not be a good idea to feel infatuated all the time...just saying. But in of itself there isn't anything wrong.

It is what you do with your feelings that matters. Anger can lead to hatred. Sorrow can lead to bitterness. Happiness can lead to idolatry. Infatuation can lead to lust.

These are gifts from God that tells us we are alive and made in the image of Him above. But do we use feelings to glorify Him, or do we use them to glorify ourselves? Let our identity be in Christ, and not in our feelings.

“Don’t bother too much about your feelings. When they are humble, loving, brave, give thanks for them; when they are conceited, selfish, cowardly, ask to have them altered. In neither case are they you, but only a thing that happens to you. What matters is your intentions and your behavior.” -C.S. Lewis

Legalism/Sympathy

What is legalism?

When I hear that word, I think of the Pharisees. They knew scripture better than anyone else, but they used that knowledge to glorify themselves. But I feel like Christians now who are stuck in legalism really aren't like that, at least most. Sure you have your self-righteous, brother condemning type, but you also have those who do good because they believe it to be moral and correct, and they do good out of obedience. I once said in discussion group that obedience out of legalism and obedience out of love will look exactly the same, but the difference is in the heart.

What does it mean to obey out of love then?

To me, legalism is outlined pretty well in 1 Corinthians 13, the Love chapter. It is funny how the other day I saw a picture (seemingly) of two people dating and being intimate with each other, with this passage in the caption. I would say the verse is taken out of context but still applies, albeit I would also say those two do not know love yet as it takes years to cultivate. Anyways in 1 Corinthians 12 Paul outlines an exhaustive list of Spiritual Gifts and how we are to use them for the common good and for the Body. But then in 1 Corinthians 13 Paul adds that if we use these gifts, examples like tongues (v1) and prophecy (v2), or if we were to die as a martyr (v3) or give everything to the poor (v3), but we do not do them out of love, then they become legalistic and useless. Paul then lists out the attributes of love, where if you replace every instance of the word Love with God, it all makes sense. The only purpose of Spiritual Gifts is to use them for the sake of others (John Piper). That is how doing good works out of love looks like.

Lately I've been struggling with this at CMU's ACF. I have a lot of knowledge I can share, and experiences I can draw upon to help those here in their struggles or finding direction. But I can't help but feel slightly prideful as well, and realize also that my experiences are my own and the way I teach doesn't resonate with everyone's version of the gospel (who God means to them, how they interact with the gospel, their own personal experiences with faith). I truly believe that if I love my brothers and sisters, I must tell them the truth. But the opposite is also true: Truth must be spoken in love. These two are forever intertwined in scripture (1 Corinthians 13:6, Ephesians 4:15, 2 Thessalonians 2:10, 1 Peter 1:22, 1 John 3:18). If I try to speak the truth to my brothers and sisters but I don't do it out of love, with pride or self-righteousness or without gentleness and caring, then I will have accomplished nothing and sinned against them. All in all, I just want to help people in God's timing, and always have the spirit of vulnerability and gentleness, and be willing to listen to people share about their brokenness. I also want to be able to share about my past sufferings as well, and boast about how God and God alone helped me overcome it all. And if I cannot do any of that, at least I can pray and give up control of my life and my influence in people's lives up to God, who is in control of everything. An older brother (in his 40's) in my mens group shared to me that he believes God gave him all his struggles and trials to teach him one thing, to be able to sympathize with those struggling now. I want to be able to do that.

Please, please, please do not rebuke your friend with self-satisfying relish.  No one should ever enjoy rebuking a friend.  There will be a shaking voice, tears in your eyes, trembling hands, a sincere conviction, and a heart dripping with gracious love.  You won’t expect them to listen to you, but to listen to the truth.  Anything else is just your flesh trying to prove a point.  Then you need to go back to the lab in prayer to wrestle that flesh into the ground.  You don’t ever rebuke to prove something.  You rebuke to help your friend away from the edge of death. - J.S. Park

Today I broke an apple with my bare hands. I still remember we used to do this at ACF retreats during lunch.

The simplest truths.

Edit: I also managed to injure my hand...oh sadness.

Where your Identity is, is where your Heart is also (Idols)

You can idolize video games,
You can idolize sports,
You can idolize exercise,
You can idolize laziness,
You can idolize your Iphone,
You can idolize a TV show,
You can idolize anime,
You can idolize your clothes,
You can idolize culture,
You can idolize an activist movement,
You can idolize grades,
You can idolize your fantasies,
You can idolize your career,
You can idolize the future,
You can idolize the past,
You can idolize sex,
You can idolize relationships,
You can idolize friendships,
You can idolize your spouse,
You can idolize yourself (pride)
You can idolize looks,
You can idolize your sexuality,
You can idolize people,
You can idolize your nationality/country,
You can idolize feelings,
You can idolize fellowship,
You can idolize songs,
You can even idolize worship for the sake of worship,
But you cannot idolize God.

Define Biblically what an idol is. Find your idol(s).

Today seminar was cancelled so I played a little game with myself.

I decided to watch a Joel Osteen sermon and compared it to one of the CauseKC's old sermons. More importantly, I looked for code words. I did this for 30 minutes because I couldn't stand any more. Now youtube thinks I like Joel Osteen and suggests his videos to me.

Here is what I tallied:

Joel Olsteen - 25min
God 1111111
Holy Spirit
Prayer
Bible 111
Jesus
Cross
Sin
Grace
Most common phrase: victory

CauseKC - 25min
God 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
Holy Spirit
Prayer 1
Bible 11111
Jesus 111111
Cross 11
Sin 111111
Grace 111
Most common phrase: God's plan

Things I learned. Joel Osteen says (almost) all of the right things, but he omits the most important things. He is basically a glorified inspirational speaker. I guess that's the prosperity gospel for ya.

If I ever here the word "victory" again I am going to shoot myself...

NOOOO! Found out Dallas Willard died last year! I wanted to meet him...fellow Missourian. Your teachings had led many to understand Kingdom Living and the Sovereignty of God. May you rest in peace in the presence of the Lord and Savior.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2iOlV0niBk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFIdW5tRObw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y466qL6JtA4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhobThHUzcA

(Warning: he has a voice perfect for sleeping to. I don't know how the USC students stay awake in his lectures)