The greatest praise for a Christian woman is to be called Godly and pure. The things a Godly woman should look for in a future husband is how that man serves and encourages the growth of the Gospel in his fellow men, and how he disciples younger men. Remember just because a man is gentle, caring, and kind to you doesn't mean he is gentle, caring, and kind. Such a fake nature will not last in marriage. Isn't that what Matthew 5 warns us about, the sacrificial nature of Love?  If a man loves you and not everyone in the Body, especially other men, then his love is very conditional and cheap. A man's character is based on how He Loves the Lord, not how infatuated he can get with a woman. And this desire for God has to start when he is single, and not begin (though can be cultivated) through his romantic relationship. A woman who doesn't look for or support this in the Church, the Body of Christ, is not a Godly woman at all! Remember that though romantic relationships and marriage are good things, they tend to be avenues of selfishness and sin. All of this also applies to men too, though most flak have generally been sent their way (and rightly so biblically). The question is, where are the older mature sisters guiding and warning the younger ones?

Update: I know there are boys out there. It is the guy's job to get himself educated in theology/scripture and take steps to become like Christ in His example of a bridegroom and husband to the church. It is the guy's job to move from the self-absorbed egotistic prick (or an insecure wimp) he is to a gentle, kind, and sacrificial man of God. It is the guy's job to move from being a boy into a man who can glorify God in his household. It is the guy's job to find accountability and discipleship to prepare himself for the responsibilities of manhood. It is a guy's job to pursue solely after Godly women, to show other guys that these women are most desirable, and to show Godly women they are most desired. It is the guy's job to realize that marriage isn't the end all be all, but Christ truly is enough for him. But after all this, then isn't the girl's job to find men like these and pursue them, instead of finding boys and attempting to do God's job by trying to speed up their spiritual maturity through your own efforts? As if your spirituality can be transferred to him, especially when you set yourself as the greatest idol in his life. Why do Christian woman find non-believing men more attractive? Why are looks, stability, and/or charisma more important than a heart for God in finding a spouse? When was the last time you woman in your latest DTR ask the guy "what is the purpose of marriage? And if he didn't say something along the lines of "marriage being for the glory of God through the analogy of Christ and the Church and co-servanthood, edification of his wife to become beautiful and spotless for her holy Joy, breaking and humbling of himself through sacrifice and humility, the production of spiritual and biological children for the Kingdom, and the preaching of the Gospel through the example of selflessness (Love) and covenant-keeping in front of non-believers," then why the hack did you start dating him? Or did you even bother to ask this question at all?

·        The Christian man or woman who wants to marry a follower of Jesus must looks for a spouse who has learned what it is to die to self in allegiance to Jesus - John Piper

Yeah, when I was 22 years old (after I graduated from college) I honestly didn't understand anything about the purpose of marriage. I've been both the self-centered person and the insecure loser. Even at 26+ years old and having done hundreds of hours of research on understanding Biblical marriage (for a specific season), as well as attending numerous marriages and counseled many couples with my theoretical knowledge on this topic, I admit that I am still a work in progress and probably will be well into my future marriage (if it is in God's will). But at least I have taken the initiative to lay down the groundwork, and I want to encourage everyone to do the same.