It has been a while since I've
blogged about myself. So this will be a long post. Also 2 1/2 months late. I gave up adding to it or editing it.
2013 in a nutshell (a really big
nut): Last year, God was very good to me. I didn't deserve it.
Got to start with Urbana '12.
it's been a year, but I cannot forget. Let us not forget Urbana '09 or Urbana
'12.
"He dwelled among us"
The Great Invitation – God's
command for us to gather people for His banquet.
Fear of God over fear of man.
God's sovereignty (how PCCC and ACF are the first fellowship that I have really
see embody this and embrace it in their daily speech. How Presbyterian
tradition has us recite it on Sundays). Do not underestimate God, do not box
Jesus up or let Him conform to your own religion/worldview/image (from Urbana).
My identity in Christ, that I shall become more Christ-like every day (not in
labels like Calvinist or Baptist, not in songwriters, for the gospel has become
more about songwriters than the Bible - Paul Washer).
Sunder Krishnan during Urbana '09
talked about how Peter and John prayed in Acts 4 to a God who is sovereign and the
creator of everything, and in reply God sent the Holy Spirit to shake the very
ground they stood, and all the saints were emboldened. Pray big and pray bold.
http://vimeo.com/69096015
"What kind of people would we be if we
are filling our radar screens with a God who is sovereign, creator, redeemer,
and worker?" - Sunder Krishnan
There is a balance between God as
love and God as sovereign, you need to understand God as creator, God as
wrathful, and God as majestic, as well as God as savior, God as Father, and God
as
he-who-loves-you-more-than-anyone-in-the-world-to-the-point-of-absolute-incomprehension.
Sometimes we forget one, and sometimes we forget both.
It is very curious, I started out
as a person who lived out God's love and mercy as a kid, but something
horrendous happened to me that forced me all the way across the field to become
a Christian who knew too many bible verses, read too many theology and
apologetic books, and upheld the upmost
level of purity and "moral" living that I became what was called a
"super-Christian" in others' eyes. I remember writing back in my
sophomore year that I realized this danger, how a faith based around theology
was faith on "easy-mode", and I sought to remove my nose from the
books that I truly did enjoy so that I can spend more time putting my ear on
people's hearts.
Let me continue to grow and
change, because if I encounter God every day, how can I not change?
“I am
not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be
in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace
of God I am what I am” - John Newton
Love your wife as Jesus loved the
church. I like how this shifts the focus back onto Jesus, from a specific topic
back to the bigger all-encompassing picture. To be able to know what love is
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOh0Ts1xDmM Matt Chandler), and understand that
though I will never truly understand or know Jesus' love for the Church, that
together with my brothers and sisters (and one day my wife) I can begin to
"grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ" is
(Ephesians 3:18). From all my research and studying, I have concluded that for
a man to be spiritually ready to start dating, he must make the connection
exemplified in that sentence "Love your wife as Jesus loved the church"
Ephesians 5:25 (along with having God first in his life...duh).
"You ought to marry someone who's
willing to go anywhere for God. If they're not, they're out." - John Piper
Power of prayer - CWC and my
birth. How there have been times in my life I have cursed God for bringing me
so much physical pain and emotional pain and betrayal, but I realize that Jesus
went through so much more pain, and he came to understand me, to come down in
the flesh to be able to tell me "I know." Need constant prayer for
boldness and reminder that I cannot earn my salvation. Reminded that I'm
forgiven, and I need to love.
Jesus has dealt with rejection. If Jesus has
faced more rejection, abandonment, and pain than you ever could on your behalf,
then you can face head-on the rejection of your past and the problems you are
going through relationally right now with your head held high! When He is for
you who can be against you? - Pastor Kyle Turner
"Prayer is an acknowledgement that God
is in control over that person"- Darrin Patrick
(Serenity Prayer, Psalm 42, Psalm
51, Psalm 55, Psalm 73, Psalm 139, Bobby Gross prayer aka Psalm 90)
Prayer has always been the
weakest pillar (of the 4: prayer, scripture, community, and evangelism) in my spiritual faith, I have come a long way
and yet a lot longer way to go. This is one of the things I envy in the
charismatic/Pentecostal faith, how easy it is for them to pray. Let us see what
Bill Hybels has to say in his book...seems like a very simple book, but prayer
should be simple (liking calling up an old friend on the phone, again something
that has become harder and harder to do in our generation).
How I handled the youth group at
GKCCCC, the need for a pastor and mature youth leaders, the difference between
dead and broken, similarity to Paul Washer's sermons and what children look
like grown on that kind of teaching.
2014:
"Few people arise in the
morning as hungry for God as they are for cornflakes or toast and eggs.” - Dallas
Willard
This year I need to return to the
scripture more. Dive into the richness of Scripture (quote Francis Chan).
It has been 2 years since I started writing a devotional (almost) every day. Still going strong.
Detailed study on the theology in
Romans, the practicality in James, and the Corinthians and Thessalonians (since
Ephesians and Colossians was done by ACF and Galatians was done during summer,
though those might need a recap). Haggai (because the OT is as important as the
NT)
Read through the entire Bible in
general (I want that lavishness and richness of being with Jesus alone that
Francis Chan spoke of, something greater than the birth of his only son), given
I have heard 100-200 sermons last year, they have become kind of repetitive,
but the Word of God will never become boring.
Focus on the importance and
absolute magnitude of the Holy Spirit, do not marginalize it! Don't equate it
with some spiritual "force" that works through emotions. He is the
Helper, he is the comforter, he is one who speaks wisdom into us, and guides in
the truth of the scripture. He is working the strongest in us during the times
when we don't feel, when we cannot sum up the passion to praise God, it is
during those times when His Strength is there to carry us (think about
footprints in the sand).
“When we are
at our wits’ end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But
how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of
answers of our own?" -Karl Barth
Serving, now that the promise has
been made, whether be it in ACF, or IV, or Veritas, or in the local churches in
Pittsburgh, or in nursing homes, or in the graduate/BME community. Maybe study
and teach on the fear of God, Holy Spirit, and stewardship. Being a leader for
my younger brothers, and learn to gleam wisdom from my older brothers, how I
have never had discipleship or mentoring and how this has impinged upon my
ability to be a Christian leader, and I see this similarity in my younger
brother as well - Discipleship, what is the cost of discipleship? What does it
mean to make disciples?
Maximize singleness for God -
read, study, grow, pray, serve, do ministry, help those in need (Mark Driscoll).
Let me try not to mock my own gift of purity, or curse God for giving me it.
There are times where I wish my testimony can start with "I was deeply
addicted to pornography or sex." Why on earth would I ever want that?
Because those testimonies always seem more impactful and relatable than mine. Being not very...sexually driven sucks, since it is hard for me to relate and even harder for me to lead other men. Importance
of purity and the truly ignorance of it in the Christian faith (pornography leads to sex trafficking
http://unearthedpictures.com).
Spend less money (no more buying
games or books or toys, and try to eat out less). I've already started
expressing this by resisting the urge to buy "Scribbling in the
Sand", a book about how artists can use the gift of creativity to worship
Jesus without compromising their servant status in God's kingdom. Someone please buy these books for me as gifts! Mah wishlist.
Let me smile more this year.
Though I may have a severe case of Prognathism, aka underbite, which has led to
me not having an actual "full-toothed" smile, and makes me seem like
I am making a face when I clench my teeth together (I have since learned to
never ever have my teeth together during the day, though I still see that
stretched frown from time to time when I watch myself eat), I hope that my
small Mona Lisa-esque smile will be enough to touch people's hearts and at
least remind them that I am still a cheerful person.
Let no one
ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression
of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in
your smile.”― Mother Teresa
Gratitude: be more thankful for
the things people do for me, and be more thankful to God. Not being grateful for what I had before really hurt other people, as we all desire some acknowledgement from the people we serve and help. Now I know. Now I won't forget to say that all important "thank you for being there."
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
This stands as a testimony of what God has been doing in my life last year and will be doing in this year. May He continue do to something new in my life everyday, and I continue to share to everyone what a wonderful God He is. The greatest love we can share to another is the Gospel.
God is writing a KICK-ASS story. All I have to do is believe.
