My first year at CMU and graduate school.
I've learned a lot. Both from my fellow graduate students and the
undergraduate fellowship.
I've also grew a lot. Especially for one year. I've learned more about God's
sovereignty and grace than I ever have. I've also learned to accept and relate
to other people's view of the Gospel more. I truly believe there is something I
can learn from Pentecostals and charismatics. I can also learn from
Calvinists/Reformed. There is something to be gained from Methodists, Lutherans,
Baptists, and other evangelicals. I've already learned a lot from my
hyper-conservative home church. I also enjoy listening to the Love the Roman
Catholics have for God. All of these people are my brothers and sisters,
and I will love them all dearly regardless of differences in doctrine. It
should be a joy to listen to other people's personal stories and how their
experiences shape their view of The Cross and God's Love.
This year and every following year I will continue to grow a little more in
my understanding of God's Love for me and confess that God is enough for me. My
goal is to continue to encourage others in the Spirit gently. Maybe I could be
more firm and direct, but I think God is calling me right now to be more
passive, to listen more, and to watch carefully how God is shaping other lives.
There is no need for me to rush in and force extortion down people's throats.
That never helps. The truth must always be spoken in gentleness and kindness,
with the heart-felt intent to lift the brother or sister up from their
brokenness and sin.
The continuation of growth, that every day brings you a little closer to God
and the understanding of God's sovereignty and love. That is something to be
excited about, that tomorrow God will reveal a little bit more of Himself to
me, and this will never stop until the day I die and enter heaven.
I know I have a lot of experience. I have seen a lifetime worth of good and
bad things in multiple fellowships and multiple environments. I have delved
into the depths of theology and come out a more spiritually prideful person.
This year I have learned to set these aside and just enjoy the grace God has
provided. I have watched many undergrads grow, most of them way more
spiritually mature than I was at their age (or even when I graduated). In
almost all cases, they have taught me more about the Gospel and challenged my
faith more than I have them. There is a joy to just watch how God is working in
people's lives.
At the graduation dinner, I was a little jealous (but also extremely happy
for everyone). I bitterly boycotted my own senior night. The night before
graduation people told me that I was never part of the community. "This is
how the world is" they told me. I thought Christians were all about being
set apart from the world and loving each other as brothers and sisters. It was
almost like the fellowship I had so hard to fit into has finally and completely
rejected me. Just imagine if your last memory of fellowship before graduation was
being told you never had community and never was accepted, instead of jamming
together with fellowship and really enjoying God together.
I have heard and personally listened to many atheist's backstories and how
they were similar to this, mostly how fellowships treated them in high school.
Most of the strongest anti-Christians were born this way. I wonder if God
hadn't had a strong hold on me, I would have become one of these people.
Abandoned by fellowship. Abandoned by church. That being said I do not think I
was any better during my senior year, and not a day goes by without me
regretting my actions. But God has forgiven me, so I have and will continue to
forgive my debtors and ask for forgiveness from those who seek it. We were all
very broken people, created by the circumstances shoved upon us and the
brokenness afflicted upon us by those who care before. It is time we break the
chain of bitterness and forsakenness, and rely on God's strength in us instead
of our idols or our pride. We need to learn to utilize God's unconditional love
to encourage and care for our brothers and sisters. That is my prayer for my
past fellowships.
Nevertheless, I am truly blessed to find such a God-fearing fellowship that
tries its hardest to challenge each other's faith and love one another in a
Acts 2 kind of way. It is truly God's gift to me, after I accepted that God
alone is enough, to show me what real fellowship looks like. You could hear it
in the sharing, both by the graduates and their parents. I also learned in
Vision School why in Luke 10 Jesus sent the disciples out two by two. Just read
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. We are stronger when we are together. We are called to
work and mission together. That is why we are called the Body, with different
spiritual gifts and callings, but functioning and working as one for a common
goal. To live. To disciple. To glorify God. (My physiology teacher would love
this analogy..."multiple unique systems working in sync for growth and
development of the human body"). How can anyone love another if they are
isolated all by themselves?
All relationships are missional. I believe this one was also from Vision
School, a play on missionary dating. The people you meet are people God
specifically and completely intentionally set before you (in a predestined
fashion if you are a Calvinist...hat off to Elder Gordon). As Tim Keller once
said, we are to "honor one another, serve one another, offer hospitality
to one another, encourage one another, accept one another, bear with one
another, admonish one another, teach one another, and Love one another."
That is what friendship is about. That is what being brothers and sisters in
Christ is about.
God works in mysterious ways. He also grants overflowing blessings to those
who totally don't deserve it. Okay, we all don't deserve salvation, but I
totally do not deserve a second chance for fellowship. Not at the
undergraduate level anyways. Who would have known that going to a game night to
play smash bros. would land me in one of the most wonderful fellowships I have
ever been a part of. God knew. I want to thank all my brothers and sisters here
and in the places past for praying for me, walking with me, challenging me,
rebuking me, encouraging me, and picking me up and showing me God when the light in me has all but
gone out.
I want to congratulate all the graduates of 2014, may you all find new
community where God has placed you to grow and mission, and that you never ever
forget the memories and friendships made in college. To me, coming together and
just singing out hearts out as a fellowship, that is what heaven is going to be
like. Taste of Heaven. Mmmmmmmm.
Peace be to you.
Nicely done!
ReplyDelete