Memories

This blog is full of memories.

In all retrospect, it is a collection of memories conceived into prose or imagery, delivered by a existence that demands pitifully to be remembered and acknowledged.

What do memories entitle? They bore a perforation into the past, linking feelings, emotions, facts, to the present.

What are the dangers? To live in the past can corrupt the present and future. To drown oneself in the past means to overlook the events happening in real-time, to ignore the needs and attention of the daily life, to not live to the fullest. To live in the past is to not be living now.

What are the benefits? Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Memories, if used in a positive light, solidify relationships, bring people closer, tear down boundaries, eliminate barriers surrounding the hearts of men, and magnify the warmth that exists in hearts and the surroundings of life.

Over the years, I was shown over and over again that memories I share with people amount next to nothing. The laughter, the feet walking on the same path together, once the mirth is out of earshot, everything is forgotten, and once the feet diverge, they never come back. What does it mean to be best friends forever? Once you are in a new place, isn't it human instinct to leave it all behind and start anew?

When old people hold hands in the park, basking in the warmth of the sunlight and listening to the songbirds sing, they remember the good times don't they? There is love. They remember all the sticky situations they went through together, but also the times where there was peace and wonder in the relationship. They put value in the good times, and consider the bad times as frivolous.

I wish that I can focus on the positiveness of my past and supplement my now with the jubilant energies found in my memories. I want to be able to tell the people I with now, "Hey, don't you remember all the good times we've had together? The last year. The last 2 years. The last 10 years. The last 21 years of our lives! Remember when you cared for me, and I cared for you. Remember how we enjoyed each others company. Please don't let it end."

I myself need to learn that too. More than once, I declared memory bankruptcy, refusing to acknowledge any lasting feelings from a time long past, until someone puts me on the spot and says, "How can you say we didn't have fun that day. How can you say its all a lie? What do you think we are, rocks on the road? Let us grow closer to you, hold you up, support you, and love you."

Home, as defined by Tim Keller, is a place that holds nostalgic value. It will be a place with figurative walls lined with memories. Everyone longs to be home. Everyone desires to reach that destination where they feel most safe, most welcome, most happy. But, maybe once we get there, we have realized that we were chasing empty thoughts and dreams, and the place we were smitten by no longer exists.

What happened to childhood? What happened to growing up together? Please don't mock memories. They are all I have of people long past, some who have found rest in the eternal home above. The memories keep me warm at night, when the darkness closes in, and the bitter cold licks my skin and pierces my body. Memories contain Love, just as much as everything now.

Elimination of memories, as shown many times in movies and literature, removes the essence of self. Name, culture, personality, experience, and faith all disappear in a puff of smoke. What is left is an empty shell, a slimmer of a former self. Ready to be filled with new memories. Is that what a human being is? A conglomeration of memories?

I don't really know where I was going with this post, but I just want to remember and never forget. I just don't want to forget how much I am loved. And I don't want you to forget how much I love you too.

edit: You know...the most awkward moments when going through old pictures is seeing people with their ex's...mad awkward.