Sometimes I think I have ADD (not just the onset of temporary symptoms during finals week). I pace a lot, and can never sit still in one spot. During movies, I always have the urge to get up and stop mid-movie. This is the same for TV shows. Unless it is really engaging, or I'm watching with others, I cannot watch more than 1/2 to 1 episodes at a time. I used to be able to sit and read a good novel through in one sitting, but now I find it takes me much much longer, where I would finish a chapter and then find a good spot on the sofa to contemplate what I just read, and maybe daydream about being in the story for a bit. Even sleeping sometimes gets interrupted because my mind cannot relax and must be thinking on some random topic or another (rage at insomnia...).
When I was little, I was a super hyper kid, and my parents and my montessori teachers had me diagnosed by doctors for ADD. But they all came to the same conclusion: "A pre-schooler who can sit, unmoving, for 4 hours watching baby chicks can not possibly have ADD."
So much for GRE studying...
Edit: Just realized. Now I know where my attraction to cute things and animals comes from.
Edit: This reminds me of the time where I stood watching toy trains travel on the train tracks at Crown Center in downtown Kansas City. My parents kept on moving, but I remained behind. Soon they realized that their son was missing, and were frantically searching. They looked everywhere, but couldn't find me. Later, they started backtracking, and went back to the 2nd (3rd?) floor, in the hallways of stores. There they found me, still unmoving, just staring in awe of the miniature choo-choo trains puffing their tiny smoke, making their little tooting sounds, oblivious to my surroundings. This was the one and only time they lost me, and one of their scariest moments in their lives.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Cephalo-Video
What if people had video cameras taped on top of their heads? This would solve many problems people have in life. Communication would so much easier. Promise won't be forgotten. Discussions can be kept going. No one will be able to say they forgot anything, because they can always go back in time to review the words that came out of people's mouths. Arguments can be kept to the minimum. Every small benevolent gesture and act of kindness will be revealed unadulterated (like in Wall-E for EVE). Relationship will stay longer and healthier, or this will make breakups more rational because of the direction of people's lives. Studying will be easier too. Orgo lectures, seminars, and notes can all be reviewed at anytime, and studying is only for critical-thinking problems.
Obviously in the future, this will actually be implantable recording devices in the eye or someplace, with portable storing devices in the head to be accessed later. Basically this will give everyone in the world photographic memory. This isn't a bad thing right?
Premise for a new sci-fi movie.
Obviously in the future, this will actually be implantable recording devices in the eye or someplace, with portable storing devices in the head to be accessed later. Basically this will give everyone in the world photographic memory. This isn't a bad thing right?
Premise for a new sci-fi movie.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Memories
This blog is full of memories.
In all retrospect, it is a collection of memories conceived into prose or imagery, delivered by a existence that demands pitifully to be remembered and acknowledged.
What do memories entitle? They bore a perforation into the past, linking feelings, emotions, facts, to the present.
What are the dangers? To live in the past can corrupt the present and future. To drown oneself in the past means to overlook the events happening in real-time, to ignore the needs and attention of the daily life, to not live to the fullest. To live in the past is to not be living now.
What are the benefits? Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Memories, if used in a positive light, solidify relationships, bring people closer, tear down boundaries, eliminate barriers surrounding the hearts of men, and magnify the warmth that exists in hearts and the surroundings of life.
Over the years, I was shown over and over again that memories I share with people amount next to nothing. The laughter, the feet walking on the same path together, once the mirth is out of earshot, everything is forgotten, and once the feet diverge, they never come back. What does it mean to be best friends forever? Once you are in a new place, isn't it human instinct to leave it all behind and start anew?
When old people hold hands in the park, basking in the warmth of the sunlight and listening to the songbirds sing, they remember the good times don't they? There is love. They remember all the sticky situations they went through together, but also the times where there was peace and wonder in the relationship. They put value in the good times, and consider the bad times as frivolous.
I wish that I can focus on the positiveness of my past and supplement my now with the jubilant energies found in my memories. I want to be able to tell the people I with now, "Hey, don't you remember all the good times we've had together? The last year. The last 2 years. The last 10 years. The last 21 years of our lives! Remember when you cared for me, and I cared for you. Remember how we enjoyed each others company. Please don't let it end."
I myself need to learn that too. More than once, I declared memory bankruptcy, refusing to acknowledge any lasting feelings from a time long past, until someone puts me on the spot and says, "How can you say we didn't have fun that day. How can you say its all a lie? What do you think we are, rocks on the road? Let us grow closer to you, hold you up, support you, and love you."
Home, as defined by Tim Keller, is a place that holds nostalgic value. It will be a place with figurative walls lined with memories. Everyone longs to be home. Everyone desires to reach that destination where they feel most safe, most welcome, most happy. But, maybe once we get there, we have realized that we were chasing empty thoughts and dreams, and the place we were smitten by no longer exists.
What happened to childhood? What happened to growing up together? Please don't mock memories. They are all I have of people long past, some who have found rest in the eternal home above. The memories keep me warm at night, when the darkness closes in, and the bitter cold licks my skin and pierces my body. Memories contain Love, just as much as everything now.
Elimination of memories, as shown many times in movies and literature, removes the essence of self. Name, culture, personality, experience, and faith all disappear in a puff of smoke. What is left is an empty shell, a slimmer of a former self. Ready to be filled with new memories. Is that what a human being is? A conglomeration of memories?
I don't really know where I was going with this post, but I just want to remember and never forget. I just don't want to forget how much I am loved. And I don't want you to forget how much I love you too.
edit: You know...the most awkward moments when going through old pictures is seeing people with their ex's...mad awkward.
In all retrospect, it is a collection of memories conceived into prose or imagery, delivered by a existence that demands pitifully to be remembered and acknowledged.
What do memories entitle? They bore a perforation into the past, linking feelings, emotions, facts, to the present.
What are the dangers? To live in the past can corrupt the present and future. To drown oneself in the past means to overlook the events happening in real-time, to ignore the needs and attention of the daily life, to not live to the fullest. To live in the past is to not be living now.
What are the benefits? Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Memories, if used in a positive light, solidify relationships, bring people closer, tear down boundaries, eliminate barriers surrounding the hearts of men, and magnify the warmth that exists in hearts and the surroundings of life.
Over the years, I was shown over and over again that memories I share with people amount next to nothing. The laughter, the feet walking on the same path together, once the mirth is out of earshot, everything is forgotten, and once the feet diverge, they never come back. What does it mean to be best friends forever? Once you are in a new place, isn't it human instinct to leave it all behind and start anew?
When old people hold hands in the park, basking in the warmth of the sunlight and listening to the songbirds sing, they remember the good times don't they? There is love. They remember all the sticky situations they went through together, but also the times where there was peace and wonder in the relationship. They put value in the good times, and consider the bad times as frivolous.
I wish that I can focus on the positiveness of my past and supplement my now with the jubilant energies found in my memories. I want to be able to tell the people I with now, "Hey, don't you remember all the good times we've had together? The last year. The last 2 years. The last 10 years. The last 21 years of our lives! Remember when you cared for me, and I cared for you. Remember how we enjoyed each others company. Please don't let it end."
I myself need to learn that too. More than once, I declared memory bankruptcy, refusing to acknowledge any lasting feelings from a time long past, until someone puts me on the spot and says, "How can you say we didn't have fun that day. How can you say its all a lie? What do you think we are, rocks on the road? Let us grow closer to you, hold you up, support you, and love you."
Home, as defined by Tim Keller, is a place that holds nostalgic value. It will be a place with figurative walls lined with memories. Everyone longs to be home. Everyone desires to reach that destination where they feel most safe, most welcome, most happy. But, maybe once we get there, we have realized that we were chasing empty thoughts and dreams, and the place we were smitten by no longer exists.
What happened to childhood? What happened to growing up together? Please don't mock memories. They are all I have of people long past, some who have found rest in the eternal home above. The memories keep me warm at night, when the darkness closes in, and the bitter cold licks my skin and pierces my body. Memories contain Love, just as much as everything now.
Elimination of memories, as shown many times in movies and literature, removes the essence of self. Name, culture, personality, experience, and faith all disappear in a puff of smoke. What is left is an empty shell, a slimmer of a former self. Ready to be filled with new memories. Is that what a human being is? A conglomeration of memories?
I don't really know where I was going with this post, but I just want to remember and never forget. I just don't want to forget how much I am loved. And I don't want you to forget how much I love you too.
edit: You know...the most awkward moments when going through old pictures is seeing people with their ex's...mad awkward.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Yesterday I was talking to my PI about MD's. He stated that doctors usually have three type of patients: patients that they can help, patients that they cannot help, and patients who are really there because they need someone to hold their hand.
After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that if I were a doctor, of the three types of patients, I would rather have the third type of patient the most.
After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that if I were a doctor, of the three types of patients, I would rather have the third type of patient the most.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Apparently in the Firefox browser you can see your view count for any webpage.
Right click on any page, click on "view page info", go to the security tab, and it should tell you.
Since I rebooted my computer since January 1st, I can now see my view count for my most frequently visited websites since 2011.
Facebook: 2,445 times (time to block facebook...)
Gmail: 413 times
Google: 403 times
Yahoo: 316 times
This blog: 137 times
Blogger (including this editing page): 357 times
Not available for Chrome or IE.
Right click on any page, click on "view page info", go to the security tab, and it should tell you.
Since I rebooted my computer since January 1st, I can now see my view count for my most frequently visited websites since 2011.
Facebook: 2,445 times (time to block facebook...)
Gmail: 413 times
Google: 403 times
Yahoo: 316 times
This blog: 137 times
Blogger (including this editing page): 357 times
Not available for Chrome or IE.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Rubix!!!
My brother's collection. Several key members, like the pyramid and 2x2x2, have been broken or lost...
Reminder: Never try to swim after running 3 miles AND not sleeping an entire night (roughly 18 hours of no sleep). Do I wish to drown while passing out in the water? Extension: Don't make important decisions on lack of sleep. hrm...
Fun Fact: Taiwanese people rarely eat beef. Historically valued animal, especially on an island. Found only at Mcdonalds and Burger King. The most common "beef" to be found is beef jerky, but according to insider information, that "beef" is imported from Australia, and is actually kangaroo meat. Personally I think that's awesome (though kangarooes used to be my most favorite animal).
Fun Fact: Taiwanese people rarely eat beef. Historically valued animal, especially on an island. Found only at Mcdonalds and Burger King. The most common "beef" to be found is beef jerky, but according to insider information, that "beef" is imported from Australia, and is actually kangaroo meat. Personally I think that's awesome (though kangarooes used to be my most favorite animal).
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Link is a Asian Girl
Yeah...trying something new
Does anyone see the resemblance? The boots, the belt, the leggings, the tunic-like coat? Lets face it, Link is really an asian girl with no sense of fashion taste (seriously...green?), lots of plastic surgery done to his ears and nose (why...you aren't an elf), and bleached his hair. And the hat...yeah, poor taste in hats. Didn't realize he wore chainmail until I saw this picture. Future fashion fad or 20th century fashion bust? The weapons are always in the purse.
Courtesy of Alan and Steven. The analogy was much more hilarious in the car.
A Huge Can of Worms (to Feed the Fishes)
Today, a friend asked me a few hard questions about faith. I couldn't give good enough answers for him or for myself. Then he asked me, "is it okay to be skeptical?" I told him a well tested faith is always better than a blind faith, even if it means periods of doubt. During the conversation, I realized that my time at college has been spent mostly ruminating on such questions, instead of studying. Yeah, that means, all the times I was at the library or the b-school, I wasn't doing calculus or orgo, but butting my head against questions with no concrete answer. For me, ~10 hours of studying, ~11 hours of theological research is a typical week, give or take another 10-20 hours of studying for tests.
Here are some of the questions. Trust me, most of the answers cannot be answered by man, and others have answers we cannot understand. Brace yourselves!
I GAVE YOU A FAIR WARNING!
Why does God allow suffering in the world?
If God knows everything that is going to happen, do we even have free will?
Do prayers even get answered, if he knows what we are already going to pray?
Why did God create natural disasters?
Why did God command Israelites to massacre people in the Old Testament?
Why are their prophecies with double outcomes?
Can people truly be happy in Heaven if they know their family members and friends are in Hell?
Can we really see the gospel in nature, or read it in the stars?
Is confessing our sins really enough, as in, is entering the narrow door but not walking the crooked road enough to enter the kingdom of Heaven? Why does it say, many will seek the entrance, but few will find the way?
Does cold evangelism even work? If God is all it takes to convert anyone, why are we needed?
Do angels and demons even exist? If so, do angels really have halos? Was every demon once an angel? Why are demons always so ugly?
Did the dinosaurs exist in the bible?
What does it mean, we have a body, soul, and spirit?
Are the body and soul separate or together?
What does it mean, a new heaven and new earth, where will we live then? Is there an old heaven?
Which came first, the church or the Bible, given the Catholic church compiled the Bible and determined what goes in it?
Can humans ever fully understand Love?
Can we use the Apocrypha in biblical teachings?
Was Satan and Lucifer two different archangels, or the same being?
What does God look like? I remember drawing a picture in Sunday school based on John's description in Revelations...looked like a monster with swords for teeth and fire coming out of its nostrils.
Which should we focus on first, evangelism or discipleship?
Why are there so many Protestant denominations? Was there really a forewarning in the Bible?
Was the world created in 7 days?
Should the Church have schism-ed in the first place?
Is accountability among men important? Is accountability among Christians important?
Is there an unforgivable/unpardonable sin? Is this a translation error in 1 John 5?
Are there really contradictions in the Bible?
Is science and the Bible really compatible?
If aliens exist, how does that fit in with the Bible? Or does the Bible validity their non-existence?
When does the soul "attach" itself to the human fetus?
Did God really shorten telomeres?
Why are there birth defects?
Where do babies go when they die?
Will the elders preach to all humans at the end of time, giving everyone an equal chance to hear the gospel?
Are all other animals sinless? What about snakes?
Can sin still be inherited, as it was claimed in Genesis that Ham cursed his entire lineage (the Caananites, Ham's son was Caanan) to be massacred by Shem's descendants (the Israelites)?
Where were we before we came into existence?
Who are the saints and elders mentioned in the Bible?
Do exorcisms exist today? Or do we just call them mental disorders now?
Why does God love us so much even though we hate on him and fail him so hard?
Can we lose God's love?
When I go to heaven, what will I look like? What age will I be?
What happened to the "holy men" who rose from the dead in Matthew 27:52 when Jesus died?
Yes, I can give you several "theories" for some of these questions. Yes, I can give you the "common/accepted" answer for others. Yes, for some I know the answer, but don't understand it. Maybe I should waste less time on such questions, and focus on what I do know: hope, faith, and love. But even those are a bundle of questions in themselves.
Oh man, why does God keep so many answers from us?
PS: If you ever want to have a nice, albeit long, conversation about any of these questions, I'll be free. Many a late nighter have been based around one or two of these questions. But I'm all ears for more possibilities!
Here are some of the questions. Trust me, most of the answers cannot be answered by man, and others have answers we cannot understand. Brace yourselves!
I GAVE YOU A FAIR WARNING!
Why does God allow suffering in the world?
If God knows everything that is going to happen, do we even have free will?
Do prayers even get answered, if he knows what we are already going to pray?
Why did God create natural disasters?
Why did God command Israelites to massacre people in the Old Testament?
Why are their prophecies with double outcomes?
Can people truly be happy in Heaven if they know their family members and friends are in Hell?
Can we really see the gospel in nature, or read it in the stars?
Is confessing our sins really enough, as in, is entering the narrow door but not walking the crooked road enough to enter the kingdom of Heaven? Why does it say, many will seek the entrance, but few will find the way?
Does cold evangelism even work? If God is all it takes to convert anyone, why are we needed?
Do angels and demons even exist? If so, do angels really have halos? Was every demon once an angel? Why are demons always so ugly?
Did the dinosaurs exist in the bible?
What does it mean, we have a body, soul, and spirit?
Are the body and soul separate or together?
What does it mean, a new heaven and new earth, where will we live then? Is there an old heaven?
Which came first, the church or the Bible, given the Catholic church compiled the Bible and determined what goes in it?
Can humans ever fully understand Love?
Can we use the Apocrypha in biblical teachings?
Was Satan and Lucifer two different archangels, or the same being?
What does God look like? I remember drawing a picture in Sunday school based on John's description in Revelations...looked like a monster with swords for teeth and fire coming out of its nostrils.
Which should we focus on first, evangelism or discipleship?
Why are there so many Protestant denominations? Was there really a forewarning in the Bible?
Was the world created in 7 days?
Should the Church have schism-ed in the first place?
Is accountability among men important? Is accountability among Christians important?
Is there an unforgivable/unpardonable sin? Is this a translation error in 1 John 5?
Are there really contradictions in the Bible?
Is science and the Bible really compatible?
If aliens exist, how does that fit in with the Bible? Or does the Bible validity their non-existence?
When does the soul "attach" itself to the human fetus?
Did God really shorten telomeres?
Why are there birth defects?
Where do babies go when they die?
Will the elders preach to all humans at the end of time, giving everyone an equal chance to hear the gospel?
Are all other animals sinless? What about snakes?
Can sin still be inherited, as it was claimed in Genesis that Ham cursed his entire lineage (the Caananites, Ham's son was Caanan) to be massacred by Shem's descendants (the Israelites)?
Where were we before we came into existence?
Who are the saints and elders mentioned in the Bible?
Do exorcisms exist today? Or do we just call them mental disorders now?
Why does God love us so much even though we hate on him and fail him so hard?
Can we lose God's love?
When I go to heaven, what will I look like? What age will I be?
What happened to the "holy men" who rose from the dead in Matthew 27:52 when Jesus died?
Yes, I can give you several "theories" for some of these questions. Yes, I can give you the "common/accepted" answer for others. Yes, for some I know the answer, but don't understand it. Maybe I should waste less time on such questions, and focus on what I do know: hope, faith, and love. But even those are a bundle of questions in themselves.
Oh man, why does God keep so many answers from us?
PS: If you ever want to have a nice, albeit long, conversation about any of these questions, I'll be free. Many a late nighter have been based around one or two of these questions. But I'm all ears for more possibilities!
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