The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. - Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Soren Kierkegaard

 

This quote and its implications haunt me...

Directed by Christopher Nolan, it has themes of life, isolation, love, sacrifice, and human’s capacity for evil. In the movie, a team of astronauts travel through a mysterious wormhole in search of a new planet to ensure the survival of humanity.

Last night I watched Interstellar with some church friends, and what an amazing movie it was even having seen it multiple times. The cinematography (100 hours per frame for the black hole), the emotional scenes (Matthew McConaughey’s best work), and the depth of the reality led to a breathtaking experience for everyone present, especially one who had never seen it before. This is one of those movies that only gets better over the years and after each re-watch, and as the world gets closer to the realities pictured in the film: the end of humanity due to disease, and the suppression of knowledge and innovation. But what was most memorable for me were the philosophical ideas explored in the film.

Brand: You know, out there, we face great odds – death – but…not evil.
Cooper: You don’t think nature can be evil?
Brand: No.  Formidable, frightening, but…no, not evil.  Is a lion evil because it rips a gazelle to shreds?
Cooper: Just what we take with us, then.

The example of evil was presented in the film was embodied by Dr. Mann. I don’t think it was a coincidence that his name is a play on “man,” and early on in the movie he was presented as the “bravest” and most “remarkable” person to be sent to foreshadow the shocking betrayal to come.

Dr. Mann: Don't judge me, Cooper. You were never tested like I was. Few men have been.

Dr. Mann: You never would have come here unless you believed you were going to save them. Evolution has yet to transcend that simple barrier. We can care deeply - selflessly - about those we know, but that empathy rarely extends beyond our line of sight.

Building upon Dr. Brand’s words about evil, there is no evil in all of space-time except what man brings with them in their hearts. In this case it was visualized in Dr. Mann’s actions. Considered the best of the best, he still gave into the temptation of loneliness, death, and failure at the end; this led to his almost single-minded determination to return to life and control, even at the cost of the lives of those who resuscitated him. Will may never know exactly how Cooper or anyone else would behave if “tested” as Dr. Mann was, but in the end there will be a moment of despair or surrender.

In this week’s sermon at CrossBridge, Pastor Jeff told the story of Israel’s first three kings. In every case, they were presented as the best of the best that mankind can offer: the most handsome, the most faithful, and the most wise. In every case they started well, but eventually failed in some way. King Saul gave into the fear of man. King David gave into sexual temptation. King Solomon gave into idolatry and loving lawless women. In many ways these kings parallel Dr. Mann, but more importantly they parallel the many heroes, celebrities, and respectable men/women of our day. As deplorable as Dr. Mann was in the film, do we think we are better than him? Do we think we are better than Saul? Or David or Solomon?

A side note, when I die and go meet God, He will probably take me into a tesseract and show me my entire life in 4D, and then point out the times where He would be like “...and this was where I was knocking off the books onto your head and telling you to stay you dumb***!”

TLDR: people are wicked due to their human nature/instinct, and the only man who is perfect and can save us is Jesus Christ. Interstellar got to about 75% of the way (or 90% if you interpret love as a supernatural force), but only the Gospel will go 100% of the way.

Romans 8:18 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 

1 Peter 4:13 

But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 

Romans 8:17 

and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

 Luke 24:26 

Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?”

I realize I have a tendency to start posting here either when things get rough or when I have massive growth in spiritual maturity. Right now, in this season, it hasn't been this rough since I was suffering through PhD and fellowship problems in Chicago.

I know that there are posts here made out of pride and arrogance. There are also posts out of fear of man. But there are also posts here that are raw and deep about my encounters with God through the Word and through theological breakthroughs. God's sovereignty over my life. The Holy Spirit's involvement in my daily life and my sanctification. The urgency of missions in the nations. The need to sit at the foot of the Cross daily and recognize my own depravity and weakness. Plus no one reads this blog anymore except Russian bots and the occasional underground church from the Middle East.

I remember in 2013 I spent 3-4 months learning about biblical marriage, biblical singleness, and by extrapolation, biblical dating. Everyday I watched at least one sermon on the topic, and read any christian books or articles I could could get my hands on. I think at the end I realized the idol and obsession I've made out of this, and thus stopped, and instead focused on remembering my first love, Christ, and shaping myself to be a man worthy of a godly woman by living out the Gospel. 9 years later...I still don't think I'm there yet, though I have tried to "maximize my singleness" to the greatest possible extent I knew how, and allowed God to break and humble me as much as He can. I am still a sinful man, and in some ways my temptations and addictions only grew, but my understanding of the song line from Unashamed, "in my brokenness complete," has grown too.

So I will leave two paragraphs to keep reminding me about marriage and missions, and always remember from Scripture "For man sees the outward appearance, but the LORD sees the heart" and “Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the LORD."

 https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/christ-levels-the-dating-field

Yet, it should be refreshing. This reality means that men pursuing righteousness who are not culturally considered “hot” should not feel out of place asking a woman out simply because she’s considered more physically attractive than he is. By the same token, women should not expect to be overlooked simply because of our appearance. Godly men and women are not valued as potential spouses solely for their rank on some physical attractiveness scale. Have you ever noticed that Solomon never mentions physical beauty in his description of the Proverbs 31 woman? That’s because godliness is enough to attract godliness.

 https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/marriage-is-not-the-mission

When you are on mission, a partner who is also on mission becomes more attractive. Beauty and charm, finances and athletic prowess all become more and more irrelevant as you embark on mission. Whether your wife was prom queen will not matter when you’re heartbroken over one of your brothers walking away from the Lord. Whether your husband can throw a football sixty yards will be inconsequential when you need him to sit down and graciously discipline your children. 

Dating becomes a feeder for mission, an enlisting of another for cavalry to charge the gates of hell beside you. Look for someone ferocious for the things of the Lord. 

Part of the reason we have created a culture of noncommittal Christianity that avoids suffering is that we don’t treasure Him enough. We want Jesus, but there are limits to what we will sacrifice for Him. We want Him, but there are lots of things we want in life. The good news is placed on par with or even below other forms of “good news.” “I’m getting married!” “I’m having a child!” “The Giants won the World Series!” “God became flesh, was crucified for our sins, rose from the grave, and is returning to judge the world!” Other kinds of good news stir more emotion than the gospel. Think how insulting that kind of attitude must be to God! – Letters to the Church

When a friend of mine came back from visiting a church in Iraq, I asked him what the biggest difference was between our church and the church in Iraq. He said, “What we call sanctification, they call prerequisite.” In other words, we act as though surrender is a lifelong process where we slowly decide whether or not we will give up certain things to God. Meanwhile, the believers in Iraq teach the way Jesus taught. They are required to count the cost, surrendering everything up front; otherwise they cannot join the Church. – Letters to the Church

Christians have only two options when it comes to forming relationships: either remain comfortably distant from the struggles and sinfulness in one another or open a can of worms. When the first option is selected, church life goes on as usual: warm, polite, enjoyable, orthodox, occasionally disrupted by someone's terrible sin, but generally irrelevant to central parts of people's lives. When the second option is chosen, the group may at times seem more disruptive than helpful. Some members will become dejected wondering whatever happened to encouragement. Others will be offended and change churches. But the worms of self-protection and demandingness are let out of the can, when people get to know each other's hurts and disappointments, when issues that really matter are actually talked about, there is the potential for life-changing fellowship." – Larry Crabb

“The power of prayer rests in the faith that God hears it. The moment I am assured that God hears, I feel drawn to pray and to persevere in prayer. – Andrew Murray

“At last I understood: in the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy. - Philip Yancey, The Scandal of Forgiveness: Grace Put to the Test

"Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the Lord and my judgment is passed away from my God" (Is 40:27 RV). This question rebukes wrong thoughts about ourselves. God has not abandoned us any more than he abandoned Job. He never abandons anyone on whom he has set his love; nor does Christ, the good shepherd, ever lose track of his sheep. It is as false as it is irreverent to accuse God of forgetting or overlooking, or losing interest in, the state and needs of his own people. If you have been resigning yourself to the thought that God has left you high and dry, seek grace to be ashamed of yourself. Such unbelieving pessimism deeply dishonors our great God and Savior - J.I. Packer, Knowing God

 

Don’t Wait to Learn in the Mission Field What Only Your Local Church Can Teach You

 

https://crosscon.com/resources/edgar-aponte/dont-wait-to-learn-in-the-mission-field-what-only-your-local-church-can-teach-you/

My parents did not brag about my achievements or the fact that I got into good schools.

No, my parents bragged about how I laid down my life for others and served others throughout my childhood and into adulthood. My parents bragged that I followed in the footsteps of Christ.

I want to brag one day how my children walked with Christ too.

Though I may not have won the heart of a woman, it seems I've won the hearts of many men in my time in Atlanta.

 

uhhhhh...please don't take that the wrong way.

 If you don't pray, you die.

Who Am I? by Deitrich Bonhoeffer

Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell’s confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a Squire from his country house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As thought it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
Equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
Tossing in expectations of great events,
Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!

“The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them,and what came through them was longing.
These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols,breaking the hearts of their worshippers.
For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

Last week I decided to name my car "Cross-bearer."

One of the things I keep reminding myself is that my strength comes only from God. In many ways my car, if work's based salvation was a thing, deserves to be in heaven more than I am. Without my car, all of my ministries would fail. Like one person in my small group calls me, I am literally a glorified chauffeur: driving Moody or UIC students around, dropping off missionaries at the airport, or taking international students shopping. My car does all the heavy lifting, and even others can drive my car and do ministry with it. I still remember when I was going blind and was in so much fear of driving, or when my car was stolen and subsequently held hostage at the shop, I felt so helpless. I believe God showed me grace and reminded me of my weakness through that. My car is currently my greatest spiritual gift and ministry tool I have in Chicago and I should not squander it.

My Cross-bearer continue to advance the Kingdom and bring Glory to my Father.

Sometimes I forget how asian I am with all the Christian stuff I'm doing, and then I go on subtle asian traits and realize 90% of the memes speak to me spiritually...Lord have mercy on my soul plz.

https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/the-perils-of-preaching-an-implications-free-gospel

An interesting read. Imperatives. Indicatives. Implications. Big words.

The more the Church is distinct from the world in her acts and in her maxims, the more true is her testimony for Christ, and the more potent is her witness against sin.

We are sent into this world to testify against evils; but if we dabble in them ourselves, where is our testimony? If we ourselves be found faulty, we are false witnesses; we are not sent of God; our testimony is of none effect.

I do not hesitate to say there are tens of thousands of professing Christians, whose testimony before the world is rather injurious than beneficial. The world looks at them, and says, ‘Well, I see: you can be a Christian, and yet remain a rogue.’

‘Ah!’ says another, ‘you can be a Christian, I perceive; but then you will have to be doleful and miserable.’

‘Ah!’ cries another, ‘these Christians like to drink sin in secret behind the door. Their Christianity lies in not liking to sin openly; but they can devour a widow’s house when nobody is looking on; they can be drunkards, only it must be in a very small party; they would not like to be discovered tipsy where there were a hundred eyes to look at them.’

Now, what is all that? It is just this,—that the world has found out that the Church visible is not the unmixed Church of Christ, since it is not true to its principles, and does not stand up for the uprightness and integrity which are the marks of the genuine church of God.

Many Christians forget that they are bearing a testimony: they do not think that anybody notices them. Ay, but they do. There are no people so much watched as Christians.

The world reads us up, from the first letter of our lives to the end; and if they can find a flaw—and, God forgive us, they may find very many—they are sure to magnify the flaw as much as ever they can.

Let us therefore be very watchful, that we live close to Christ, that we walk in his commandments always, that the world may see that the Lord hath put a difference.

But now I have a very sad thing to say—I wish that I could withhold it, but I cannot. Unless, brothers and sisters, you make it your daily business to see that there is a difference between you and the world, you will do more hurt than you can possibly do good.

The Church of Christ is at this day accountable for many fearful sins. Let me mention one which is but the type of others.

By what means think you were the fetters rivetted on the wrist of our friend who sits there, a man like ourselves, though of a black skin?

It is the Church of Christ that keeps his brethren under bondage; if it were not for that Church, the system of slavery would go back to the hell from which it sprung.

If there were no slave floggers but men who are fit for so degrading an office, if there were not found Christian ministers who can apologise for slavery from the pulpit, and church members who sell the children of nobler beings than themselves, if it were not for this, then Africa would be free.

Albert Barnes spoke right truly when he said slavery could not exist for an hour if it were not for the countenance of the Christian Church.

But what does the slaveholder say when you tell him that to hold our fellow-creatures in bondage is a sin, and a damnable one, inconsistent with grace?

He replies, ‘I do not believe your slanders; look at the Bishop of So-and-so, or the minister of such-and-such a place, is not he a good man, and does not he whine out ‘Cursed be Canaan?’ Does not he quote Philemon and Onesimus? Does he not go and talk Bible, and tell his slaves that they ought to feel very grateful for being his slaves, for God Almighty made them on purpose that they might enjoy the rare privilege of being cowhided by a Christian master. Don’t tell me,’ he says, ‘if the thing were wrong, it would not have the Church on its side.’

And so Christ’s free Church bought with His blood, must bear the shame of cursing Africa, and keeping her sons in bondage.

From this evil, good Lord deliver us.

If Manchester merchants and Liverpool traders have a share in this guilt, at least let the Church be free of this hell-filling crime.

Men have tried hard to make the Bible support this sum of all villanies, but slavery, the thing which defiles the Great Republic, such slavery is quite unknown to the Word of God, and by the laws of the Jews it was impossible that it ever could exist.

I have known men quote texts as excuses for being damned, and I do not wonder that men can find Scripture to justify them in buying and selling the souls of men.

And what think you is it, to come home to our own land, that props up the system of trade that is carried on among us?

I would not speak too severely of Christ’s Church, for I love her; but because I love her I must therefore utter this.

Our being so much like the world, our trading as the world trades, our talking as the world talks, our always insisting upon it that we must do as other people do, this is doing more mischief to the world, than all our preachers can hope to effect good.

‘Come ye out from among them; touch not the unclean thing, be ye separate, saith the Lord, and I will be a father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters.

-Charles Spurgeon

Today I went to Willow Downtown for Praise Night with Bridges International. There was a small crowd, and the execution was very rough, but the worship was real. I guess it is true that God uses us most effectively in our failures and weaknesses.

For some reason, the lyric "who the Son sets free, oh is free indeed" really resonated with my heart today. I also didn't realize it is directly from scripture, John 8:36. Guess I learned something new today too.

I think it was good for my heart to worship in musical praise 3 nights in a row in 3 different settings. Thank you Jesus for all these opportunities to worship with so many believers across Chicago.

"Is the Gospel simple?"

"Shouldn't it be? Isn't that the point?"

"If it is simple, then why do so many people get it wrong?"

The Gospel is not primarily about the Salvation of man. Salvation is only the means (where both means and end are important). We are saved so we may have a right relationship with God, and glorify God through Christ, for that was mankind's original purpose before the fall. The Gospel is about restoring our very purpose of existence, to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. The Gospel ultimately isn't about us, it is about Christ and always has been.

I guess it is simple, but we've looked at it the wrong way for so long.

For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:9-11 NASB

Analogy: Think of it this way. Imagine one day you get water on your computer, or accidentally dropped your phone into the lake, or your car breaks down. Your phone, your computer, your car can no longer function as intended. Jesus comes and fixes your item. He is the electrician, the technician, the mechanic, the carpenter, the healer, the savior. He gives you back your phone, your computer, your car. But if all you do is proclaim "ah! It is now fixed!" but never go and start using your phone or computer, or drive around your car, then whats the point? Is there that much difference from before when it was broken? The Gospel tells us that it is our very soul and spirit that was broken, and Jesus healed our spirit. But was there a purpose for that spirit before it was broken by sin? The Gospel should say (and does) something about that too.

They say...you meet a reaper when you are 29.

"I am afraid that every time I write, I will be reduced to my ideas. I am not my ideas. No one is their ideas, no one is their beliefs, and no one is their values. Because underneath all those things is a story, an experience, a place, a family, a relationship, a brokenness. Regardless of how much I may love or resent someone’s beliefs, I must acknowledge that if I take the time to look through those beliefs, I face another messy, broken, wounded, dream-filled, just-trying-to-find-their-way human being made in the image of Almighty God. Their beliefs are informed by the stories that, yes, God shaped, formed, and has given them. Especially now, when ideas come a dime a dozen, filling the facebook airwaves with pharisaic declarations about right and wrong, the Kingdom of God always sees and cuts through stories.  ||  To share ideas is cheap; they require of us no intimacy, vulnerability, or humility. But to share the stories underneath it all—the frightening, joyful, and messy things that make us who we are—that comes at a cost. Not all of us have the language or the courage to do it. I’ve definitely run away from it too many times. So instead of broadcasting our ideas and opinions, let us commit to telling our stories. And then let’s live those stories in the fullest, richest, and most courageous way possible. Because everyone can write a blog, and there are definitely people who are better at it than I am, but no one else anywhere in the history of any time has my story. To tell it again and again in a society that is persistent in its lies, that profits from my forgetting, to remind myself of who I am and the God who made me, well that might be the most dangerous, subversive, messy, humanizing thing I could ever do."

http://natejlee.com/

Some helpful good reads:

https://tollelege.wordpress.com/2017/06/05/you-can-make-him-do-nothing-at-all-for-long-periods-by-c-s-lewis/

https://tollelege.wordpress.com/2007/11/29/the-simple-tragic-fact-by-francis-schaeffer/

https://tollelege.wordpress.com/2018/05/05/from-this-evil-good-lord-deliver-us-by-charles-spurgeon/

Another Year (or 3), another VIA Strengths Test

See how I've changed since 2015 

Also my Myers-Briggs is ENFJ if you were wondering (you probably weren't)...helps with understanding my answers below.

"If we are both still running the race, we will bump into each other in the future for sure." - J. P.

Congratulations on graduating from Wheaton College and thanks for challenging and encouraging me over the last few years. Au Cheval was great. Hope to see you again soon!

J.I. Packer on Knowledge about God and Knowledge of God

“Once you become aware that the main business that you are here for is to know God, most of life’s problems fall into place of their own accord.”

― J.I. Packer, Knowing God 

“We must seek, in studying God, to be led to God. It was for this purpose that revelation was given, and it is to this use that we must put it.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God 

 “Disregard the study of God, and you sentence yourself to stumble and blunder through life blindfolded, as it were, with no sense of direction and no understanding of what surrounds you. This way you can waste your life and lose your soul.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God 

“Knowing about God is crucially important for the living of our lives. As it would be cruel to an Amazonian tribesmen to fly him to London, put him down without explanation in Trafalgar Square and leave him, as one who knew nothing of English or England, to fend for himself, so we are cruel to ourselves if we try to live in this world without knowing about the God whose world it is and who runs it .The world becomes a strange, mad, painful place, and life in it a disappointing and unpleasant business, for those who do not know about God. Disregard the study of God, and you sentence yourself to stumble and blunder through life blindfold, as it were , with no sense of direction, and no understanding of what surrounds you. This way you can waste your life and lose your soul.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God

 “How can we turn our knowledge about God into knowledge of God? The rule for doing this is simple but demanding. It is that we turn each Truth that we learn about God into matter for meditation before God, leading to prayer and praise to God.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God 

“A little knowledge of God is worth more than a great deal of knowledge about him.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God

“Meditation is the activity of calling to mind, and thinking over, and dwelling on, and applying to oneself, the various things that one knows about the works and ways and purposes and promises of God. It is an activity of holy thought, consciously performed in the presence of God, under the eye of God, by the help of God, as a means of communion with God.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God 

“we must say that knowing God involves, first, listening to God’s Word and receiving it as the Holy Spirit interprets it, in application to oneself; second, noting God’s nature and character, as his Word and works reveal it; third, accepting his invitations and doing what he commands; fourth, recognizing and rejoicing in the love that he has shown in thus approaching you and drawing you into this divine fellowship.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God 

 “There is no peace like the peace of those whose minds are possessed with full assurance that they have known God, and God has known them, and that this relationship guarantees God’s favor to them in life, through death and on for ever.”
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God 

I think for me, going through this sequential list of quotes has helped me (at least today) see how reading the Bible points me to God, and how head knowledge ("knowledge about God") is converted into heart knowledge ("knowledge of God/Knowing God").

“Jesus never concealed the fact that his religion included a demand as well as an offer. Indeed, the demand was as total as the offer was free. If he offered men his salvation, he also demanded their submission. He gave no encouragement whatever to thoughtless applicants for discipleship. He brought no pressure to bear on any inquirer. He sent irresponsible enthusiasts away empty. Luke tells of three men who either volunteered, or were invited, to follow Jesus; but no one passed the Lord’s test. The rich young ruler, too, moral, earnest and attractive, who wanted eternal life on his own terms, went away sorrowful, with his riches intact but with neither life nor Christ as his possession…The Christian landscape is strewn with the wreckage of derelict, half built towers—the ruins of those who began to build and were unable to finish. For thousands of people still ignore Christ’s warning and undertake to follow him without first pausing to reflect on the cost of doing so. The result is the great scandal of Christendom today, so called “nominal Christianity.” In countries to which Christian civilization has spread, large numbers of people have covered themselves with a decent, but thin, veneer of Christianity. They have allowed themselves to become somewhat involved, enough to be respectable but not enough to be uncomfortable. Their religion is a great, soft cushion. It protects them from the hard unpleasantness of life, while changing its place and shape to suit their convenience. No wonder the cynics speak of hypocrites in the church and dismiss religion as escapism…The message of Jesus was very different. He never lowered his standards or modified his conditions to make his call more readily acceptable. He asked his first disciples, and he has asked every disciple since, to give him their thoughtful and total commitment. Nothing less than this will do” 
― John R.W. Stott, Basic Christianity

“Before we can begin to see the cross as something done for us, we have to see it as something done by us.”
― John R.W. Stott