Note: This is a very casual and impromptu post.

So last night I had a very vivid dream, and I usually don’t post about dreams because no matter how memorable the dream is for me, I always seem to forget it eventually (even over the time course of the same day). But this one hit a nerve.

Actually, I had two dreams I remember clearly. In the first dream, my friends (and family I believe) and I were in this VR world where we were splitting up to do prayer and sharing. I got paired up with D. Y. (big fish) and we were walking around the VR neighborhood to find a place to share. We couldn’t find a location but for some reason I had the clicker that let me create new buildings, so I made this fancy modern retreat building pop out of nowhere…and I already forgot all the rest.

The second dream was the one I woke up to, and was the one that stood out to me more. In the dream I was back in high school, similar to Park Hill South with the blueish walls and large windows facing inwards. My teacher was Penny (from Big Bang Theory, I don’t know why I don’t really watch the show), and from the looks of the dream we have a very cordial relationship. During one of the classes, I made some kind of crass joke about husband and wives, and apparently it offended Penny very much, to the point that she started becoming very passive-aggressive towards me. I would raise my hand to ask a question and she would deliberately not pick on me, and once I was the last hand raised she said, “what do you want Daniel!” I remember asking two questions, one of them about salts and solvent nomenclature (wow…), and she retorted that those were stupid questions and didn’t answer them. At that point I remember feeling very hurt, and during mid-class break I went up to Penny and told her to mark me absent because I was leaving. I can’t remember how the conversation went, but eventually Penny said, “do you know why I am upset at you? It was because you made that joke earlier and it was really offensive to me.” I ask why she felt so offended because though it was crass, it was also funny and relevant and smart joke, and other people make those kinds of jokes all the time. She looked at me and said it was because I made the joke, and she never expected someone like me to make the kind of joke. In a way I destroyed her hope that someone can still be kind and pure. While she was closing her office (she had a bed in the office too and was proceeding to sleep…what happened to class part 2), I yelled back to her that no one is perfect, everyone can make mistakes, and she cannot place on me all her impossible expectations.

I woke up at 10:14AM right after the door closed, and got up and thought, “whoa, déjà vu.” I remember a situation in college which was vaguely similar. The situation involved an inside joke I will call the “ice pillar” joke. So I, feeling lonely and fringe in the fellowship though I devoted all my time serving it, wanted to be in on the joke and so I started participating In it too. But similarly to above, the person got so offended by me that she eventually confronted me and called me out for being hurtful. I didn’t understand why, but quickly realized that there were different expectations placed on me that other guys did not have. I was considered serious and uptight, and so when I tried to joke around, people misunderstood me and took me too seriously, and people ended up holding grudges against me that I didn’t even know about. I also remember another incident where L. W. called out those guys who came up with the “ice pillar” joke hypocrites who were demeaning to women, and they didn’t hold up the standards of being Christian. Because of these two events, I have really shut down any attempt to make those kinds of jokes again, and in general treat women as respectfully as a can. I hope she has forgiven me, as well all other people I may have offended, even through misunderstandings. To be honest, maybe I was just too naïve and innocent and was properly taught manners as a kid that I ended up being this kind of person with these kinds of expectations. Maybe I was proud that I was such a good Christian in college, and went well beyond what was humanly possible to care and serve others, but that kid died on the night before graduation. Don't get me wrong, the me in college didn't really know the Gospel or Grace as much as I do now, but he definitely did more for the Kingdom, even if it was all with the wrong intentions or theology. The great irony is now every single one of those guys (and L) are married, and I still sit here without ever having dated and have watched many guys win over girls because of their ability to make uncouth jokes (along with their charm and good looks and talents).

Ah well…nothing I can do about that. I am at fault too, and I know that. But away from complaining and now towards addressing this issue of “purity of heart.” In Reformed circles, we have a tendency to put too much emphasis on Justification aka The Cross and too little emphasis on Sanctification. Of course Justification and the Gospel and Grace are of utmost important (I can still remember Dr. Calhoun of Covenant Seminary saying how Grace is the most beautiful word he’s ever heard), but Justification without Sanctification is just “faith without works,”, or Antinomianism. Interestingly enough, in Reformed Theology there is this phrase “we are justified by faith alone but not by a faith that is alone.” Instead we are so fearful of Legalism, or works-based salvation, that we downplay Sanctification so much it is almost non-existent in our teachings. I will be honest, in the 2 ½ years I’ve been at COTB, I haven’t heard a single message focused on Sanctification or even used the word Sanctification. We need both…a Sanctification that is produced by sitting at the foot of the Cross every single day. A Sanctification from having a relationship with the King of All Kings. A Sanctification that looks upon the Day of the Lord for our future Glorification. Ah I digress, and I also believe there is Grace for everyone who starts off at a worse place when they meet Christ. Everyone grows and matures at different speeds, and that should never be used against them. But shouldn’t we strive to be pure of heart? Why do we put down those who are pure of heart? Why do we also choose those who clearly struggle, and instead of encouraging them to be sanctified, we enable them to stagnate and “fall asleep?” Why can’t we both celebrate Sanctification while also stressing the need for Justification at the same time, and not one or the other?

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age

Devo Post #20 Imago Dei

3/11/18

Colossians 1:15

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.

In the scripture, no one can really see God. Jesus has made a point multiple times that only He has been to heaven and only He has seen the Father. But then He explains (all of this is in the Gospel of John) that if you have seen Me (Jesus), then you will have seen the Father. Jesus is the living, breathing, character of God in man form. That is what Paul means here in Colossians. Jesus is the very image of God, the true image bearer of God, since we are failed images. Jesus is the true Adam, the Imago Dei. He represents us as the firstborn of all creation, though He Himself wasn’t created, but has been there from the Beginning and before the Beginning. Jesus is God, affirmed over and over again throughout the Scriptures, and this is one of the foundational doctrines of Christianity.

I have wondered about this, is Jesus is the living image of God, then why don’t we have a good idea of what He looked like? I can’t help but remember Billy Graham saying that there is a reason Jesus’ physical image was never preserved, and that was predetermined and necessary for future Christians. Instead of trying to imagine what Jesus looked like, to look upon the Image of Jesus, we look to His character, His teachings, and of course His sacrifice and love for us: The Cross. That is what it means to be the “image of the invisible God.” For all intents and purposes, the Bible hints that Jesus wasn’t even good looking, but instead easily passable and probably looked older and more withered than the 30ish year old He really was. People mistook Him to be closer to 50 when He was teaching. But when He taught, when He revealed the tiniest parts of His power to heal and save, He drew multitudes of people! There was power in His teachings, that is what was recorded in the Gospels. He was different from the teachers of the Law. And after He came back from the dead, His entire image was changed. It was like He was permanently in His transfigured state, and when the disciples saw, they fell down and worshipped the glorified Image of God who is Jesus.

3/15/18

2 cor 4:4

 in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God

Again, the doctrine of Imago Dei. I am thankful that through my circumstances, my birth, and the path that I’ve been taken on, I met Jesus Christ and saw glory in His image. I am thankful that the god of this world, Satan, did not blind me from seeing the light of the Gospel. I am glad.

I am also sad that Satan has successfully blinded many others, many who call themselves Christians too. Why does God let this happen? Why was this predestined as well? I probably will never understand. I guess I will have to ask God when I see Him. All I can do is preach the Gospel earnestly and to as many people I can. Help me love people. Help me serve people. Help me be selfless. Help me look forward to the Day of the Lord, to Eternity. Help me Lord.

3/23/18

2 Corinthians 4:6

 For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

Looking at the context, Paul is talking about the life and death of a Christian, what happens after a Christian becomes a believer. This is towards the beginning of the passage, and is outlining what regeneration looks like. God puts the Holy Spirit into us, since only the Spirit has the “knowledge of the glory of God”, and we are to become like the “face of Christ,” the true Imago Dei, so we are also reflecting the Glory of God unto all men and all of creation. Yes, also in the passage, Paul talks about how Satan will blind those who are perishing, and the Gospel will be veiled from them. Such is the reality, that God has chosen some to not be able to be saved. I don’t know why. I don’t have a good answer why God does this. But it is clear in this passage that it happens. Some people will just never comprehend the Gospel, and God will not put His Holy Spirit into them. But among those perishing in the darkness, God puts His Holy Spirit into those who He has chosen, and we become the light to shine in the darkness. We will be little pillars of light in the neighborhoods, cities, and nations we live in. We will be surrounded by darkness, and in the passage Paul talks about being pressured and crushed by that darkness, but we will never be destroyed. We will never falter. We will not despair. Light will always beat darkness, it is not a ying yang situation. Where there is light there will be no darkness. Christ has overcome the world!

3/24/18

2 Cor 3:18

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

Ah this is the key verse I am looking for, a cumulation of the past few devotions. We are no longer veiled. What does this mean? It means we can see God. Before, as Jesus said, no one has seen God except Jesus, who came from God and is God. But Jesus tore the veil, opening up the Holy of Holies (I almost typed Chamber of Secrets by accident), so we can enter the presence of God!

Mirror. We are like mirrors of the Glory of God. When people see us, they don’t see our image (which is a broken hollow shell), but instead see the reflection of Jesus Christ, glorified by the Cross, who is the true Imago Dei and is the image of the Glory of God incarnate. Jesus Christ is the true Adam, who was made in God’s image. Now we are being molded, transformed, into that same image. From glory to glory. Such a fun and powerful phrase to say. We won’t be perfect. But we can be holy. Godly. It may start off little. Little changes in behavior, the ceasing of certain sins, the thankfulness of the Gospel. But these small things will supernaturally cascade into bigger changes. A heart consumed by the fire of the Holy Spirit cannot remain cold. It will grow warm, then hot. It will become like a hot coal, similar to the one brought to the lips of Isaiah. That is what our hearts will become when the Holy Spirit resides in it. These hearts of ours will become the Temple, the Body of Christ, the family of God. Step by step. Little by little.

Let me grow into in the image of Christ. I am far from perfect. My sanctification right now may only be 1 or 2% complete. But I started from 0%. Mebbe 0.01% since I grew up Christian. But I hope to reach 10% by the time I pass from this world. Mebbe 25%. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who has reached past 20% sanctification. Maybe Paul or Billy Graham or someone has reached that. Well these numbers are subjective anyways. Maybe we are all less than 1% of the perfection Christ attained. That is a reality, but it shouldn’t put us to shame. One day we will be perfect like Christ. I await that day, when I can truly forgive other people, when I can stop sinning altogether, when I can love other people perfectly. One day I will be like that, and shine with the fullness of the Glory of Christ. Because I know this day will come, this gives me hope. Hope to fight against the bitterness of living in this world, struggling against hypocrisy and jealousy and suffering and sin.

Dad, mom!
This land, Chosun, is truely a beautiful land. They all resemble God. I see their good heart and zeal for the gospel, and I believe that in few years it will be a land overflowing with the love of Christ. I was children walking over 10 miles on barefoot to hear the gospel and the love of God in them encourages me.
But the persecution is getting stronger. Two days ago, three or four of those who have accepted Christ less than a week have been dragged away and were martyred. Missionary Thomas and James were also martyred. There were orders from the mission board to return, but the most missionaries are in hiding and worshiping with those whom they have shared the gospel with. It seems that they are all planning to be martyred. Tonight, I have strong desire to return home.
I remember you mom who resisted to the last moment of me leaving the port because of the stories of the hate of foreigners and opposition to the gospel.
Dad, Mom! Perhaps, this may be the last letter I will be writing. The seed that was sown in the backyard before I came out here must be filling our neighborhood with flowers. Another seed bear many flowers in the land of Chosun and they will be seeds to other nations.
I will bury my heart in this land. I realized that this passion for Chosun that I have is not mine but God’s passion toward Chosun.
Mom, Dad! I love you.

This was the last letter Ruby Kendrick sent to her parents before she died in modern day Korea as a missionary. Yesterday was the 2nd time I heard her testimony, a young 26 year old girl who went to Korea as a missionary for only 9 months before she died. This time was just as powerful as the first time I heard it back in 2014, and since then I have been made more aware of the Cross and the Cost a Christian faces when following after Jesus. The average lifespan of a missionary back in the late 80's/early 90's was only 2 years after setting out. That means...every single man and woman knew that when they committed to preaching the Gospel overseas, they were going to die doing so. That means no need to go to school, no need to build a career, no need to find a wife or husband, and no need to plan out a future.

May I haven even a fraction of the faith the nameless, faceless martyrs who carried the Cross daily and crossed cultures and oceans to preach the Gospel had.

“If I had a thousand lives, Korea should have them all.” - Ruby Kendrick

Yanghwajin Foreigners’ Cemeter 

 

https://pastorqkim.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/thinking-of-ruby-kendricks/

“A man who imagines that because he has a head full of knowledge that he is sufficient for these things had better start learning again. ‘Who is sufficient for these things?’ What are you doing? You are not simply imparting information, you are dealing with souls, you are dealing with pilgrims on the way to eternity, you are dealing with matters not only of life and death in this world, but with eternal destiny.”
 ― D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Preaching and Preachers 


“[The] term ‘decide’ has always seemed to me to be quite wrong…A sinner does not ‘decide’ for Christ; the sinner ‘flies’ to Christ in utter helplessness and despair saying —
Foul, I to the fountain fly,
Wash me, Saviour, or I die.
No man truly comes to Christ unless he flies to Him as his only refuge and hope, his only way of escape from the accusations of conscience and the condemnation of God’s holy law. Nothing else is satisfactory. If a man says that having thought about the matter and having considered all sides he has on the whole decided for Christ, and if he has done so without any emotion or feeling, I cannot regard him as a man who has been regenerated. The convicted sinner no more ‘decides’ for Christ than the poor drowning man ‘decides’ to take hold of that rope that is thrown to him and suddenly provides him with the only means of escape. The term is entirely inappropriate.”
― D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Preaching and Preachers
 

“In a sense one should not go to books for ideas; the business of books is to make one think. We are not gramophone records, we are to think originally. What we preach is to be the result of our own thought. We do not merely transmit ideas. The preacher is not meant to be a mere channel through which water flows; he is to be more like a well. So the function of reading is to stimulate us in general, to stimulate us to think, to think for ourselves. Take all you read and masticate it thoroughly. Do not just repeat it as you have received it; deliver it in your own way, let it emerge as a part of yourself, with your stamp upon it.”
― D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Preaching and Preachers