I believe I owe it to all my sisters both an apology for not
listening close enough and not truly caring enough, and a duty to truly dig deeper
into the Word, the history and context, and find the underlying truth, and do
this without bias. Honestly I don’t think I will find a concrete answer, as I
know on both sides smarter and more holy theologians have debated and refuted
each other for centuries and only coming to half-conclusions and
conglomerations of haphazardly woven arguments. I also acknowledge the reality of the overwhelming number of white male theologians whose interpretation of Scripture
dictate the serving limitations of my sisters in Christ. I am also saddened how
little I could find on that side women theologians who have done the research
and came to same conclusion. To that end, I only found bits and pieces of fluff, as such is the
irony of the Complementarianism viewpoint. Even if I do come to a conclusion
within the next month or so, I will arrive at it begrudgingly, as I did with
going from being an Armenian (free-will determinism) to about 80% Calvinism. I
came to that conclusion partially due to my own testimony, and partially
because I started reading and taking Scripture seriously. I say begrudgingly
because I see a lot of pride in those who call themselves Calvinists. There is
nothing to be proud of, but instead much to be humbled by the view of
predestination and awe of God’s sovereignty. I will always refuse to call
myself a Calvinist because I am a Christian, a Christ follower, and that is my
sole identity. I want to echo Paul’s
warning in 1 Corinthians 1:12-17 here as well (My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me
that there are quarrels among you. What
I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”;
another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.”Is Christ divided?
Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul? I thank God
that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, so no one can say
that you were baptized in my name. (Yes, I also baptized the household of
Stephanas; beyond that, I don’t remember if I baptized anyone else.) For Christ
did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with wisdom and
eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.)
There is always an underlying problem within this problem,
and that is the problem of abuse. I look at the Old Testament, and I find so
much abuse of women. Sarah. Hagar. Leah. Rachel. Dinah. Tamar. Tamar. Ruth. Bathsheba.
Gomer. Esther. Eve. God why did you let so many women be abused in your history
by your chosen people? Is it to reveal the depravity of men? How do we, the brothers in Christ, fix this
problem? How can we ever assume headship or leadership over women without
profusely apologizing with every single breath of our lives for the legacy we
carry from our forefathers? I know…the answer is Christ, but this is one of
those moments where it doesn’t sound enough.
How do we reconcile the tension(s)? Not just this issue, but
issues across the board. Gender? Justice? Justification? Mission? Abuse? My own
paradigm warns me that the atmosphere in America will slowly, but with
increasing speed, become one that is hostile to Christians regardless of their
secondary beliefs as long as they proclaim the name of Jesus Christ as Lord and
Savior. Jesus’s words echo in my head: You
will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to
the end who will be saved (Matt 10:22 NASB). In context, this applied to
Jesus’s immediate disciples and is not a foretelling of the End Times but for
all times and all believers.
All of yesterday’s tension was for the 501(c)3, but there
may come a day very soon where all churches will lose nonprofit status, and
maybe one day in my life or my children’s lives all churches will become criminalized. History, scriptural prophecy, and the persecution of Christians
in other countries lead me to this conclusion. It is possible, in the future
before the Day of the Lord, the church will once again become like the first churches
in Jerusalem and Asian: house churches full of Joy and compassion for one
another, but also facing insurmountable levels of persecution. Almost
insurmountable levels if Paul’s words here are to be believed: We are hard pressed on every side, but not
crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor 4:8-9 NIV).
Coming full circle, I do not believe any of
my brothers and sisters who believe either view of Complementarianism or
Egalitarianism will go to Hell if they are wrong, just as I don’t believe gay
affirming Christians, or even Christians who do not believe in the inerrancy of
Scripture, are going to Hell. What sends us to Hell is our own Pride, our own
self-glorification, our own desire to set ourselves (or other things in our
lives) as our god over God. What saves us is the righteousness imputed to us by
Christ’s death on the Cross, which is done by our confession via mouth and
heart that Jesus is both Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9) through the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 12:3). By this Gospel we the
church will survive and be unified. I want to see the Acts 2 church, the church
that grasps God’s love together (Ephesians 3:18-19) and be unified in body and
spirit (Ephesians 4:4-6), re-envisioned here at COTB. This is the solution we need, but how
does it look practically, I don’t have an answer. I just know It is my
desire to love my sisters and my brothers with all I got. I hope I can convey this
sentiment all the days of my life. Only Christ can help me do so.