Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. - Romans 5

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Idols Con't

A continuation of the topic of idolatry, I think I've found out a way to test whether something is an idol. The power of loss is a very terrible thing.

If tomorrow comes and something ceases to exist in the world, how would we cope with it? Would our life somehow lost its meaning, even in part? Would we shed tears over it? Would it feel like we have become a little more empty?

I am sure if video games or anime completely disappeared tomorrow, I would be fine with it.
If the entire female side of humanity were to cease existing, I wouldn't worry about it.
If we no longer need to eat food to live, I think I can live with that.
If music or theology books stopped existing, my worship of the Lord would still be there.
If I lost all my friends and family died tomorrow, it would shake me down to the core, but it won't break me, for my strength will be in the Lord.

But if God stopped existing tomorrow, I wonder how would I feel? Would life lose all its meaning? Would I break down completely into sorrow and despair? Or would I be just dandy?

"What does it mean to go to the Cross to die to the self life? When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ, that is dying to self. When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinion ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence, that is dying to self. When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God, that is dying to self. When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown, that is dying to self. When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met, and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy or question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances, that is dying to self. When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart, that is dying to self. Are you dead yet? In these last days, the Spirit would bring us to the cross 'hat I may know Him...being made conformable to His death.'" (Unknown, but most likely Watchman Nee)

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Most Important Aspect of a Young Adult Fellowship


From someone who had to be dragged to fellowship to serving for now the 11th continuous year, God had many grace in my life and church/campus fellowship had being one of the greatest blessings of my life, it gave me great joy and along the way formed many deep friendships.

Through the years, have seen people grow in Christ and finding joy in fellowship, but at the same time, have seen just as much diversions, arguments and people leaving for various reasons . I am not saying people who leave are necessarily wrong to do so, sometimes I think the reasons are justified. It’s just got me thinking: what is the most important purpose of a youth/young adult church fellowship?

I think the primary goal is not trying to get members to have 归属感 through programs and songs, its not about having the right chemistry among committee members, its not about bonding through common interests, its not about finding your spouse, its not even about discovering your talents. The most important thing a youth fellowship can and should do is to point a person to Jesus Christ. To show him/her through the bible the reality and significance/assurance of the salvation we have received so that he/she will treasure and value Christ above all other things. If they are struggling, then the fellowship is there to help them and support them. The Lord Jesus Christ is the most beautiful treasure we can have in this life, and only when a person sees the reality of that, can he/she truly serve in love and willingness. 

All other things are secondary. Even if you build the perfect committee, perfect program, how long can it last? 2 years? 5 years? You might feel it will last forever, but in reality 天下没有不散的宴席。Our lives are short, and when a young person attends church fellowship but misses Jesus Christ, then it’s a great tragedy. Don’t let church life be built on camaraderie alone, because it’s not forever, what if you go overseas? If a young person/unbeliever cannot know Jesus Christ through a youth fellowship, then where will they go? - David Huang

I thought I’d share a thought my cousin had on fellowship. It was a great reminder for me too. I have been guilty of finding a fellowship for the sense of belonging for a long time. Only in heaven will there be a never-ending feast. For now (and forevermore) God is enough.

Feelings Con't

It is okay to feel.

It is okay to feel happy. I feel happy being around the people I like, and it helps build our friendships. Happiness adds a little beauty into the scary and hurtful world that we live in.

It is okay to feel sadness. It is okay to feel sad when a girl rejects you. Even more so when you learn your child has died in an accident, or you get that phone call that tells you your mom has cancer, or your dad had a heart attack. I DARE someone to tell me that feeling sad means my faith or trust in God is not enough.

It is okay to feel anger. I get angry when I hear that missionaries are slaughtered all over the world, almost every day. I get angry when I learn about sex trafficking, or realize how many children are being abandoned in other countries and in the states.

It might not be a good idea to feel infatuated all the time...just saying. But in of itself there isn't anything wrong.

It is what you do with your feelings that matters. Anger can lead to hatred. Sorrow can lead to bitterness. Happiness can lead to idolatry. Infatuation can lead to lust.

These are gifts from God that tells us we are alive and made in the image of Him above. But do we use feelings to glorify Him, or do we use them to glorify ourselves? Let our identity be in Christ, and not in our feelings.

“Don’t bother too much about your feelings. When they are humble, loving, brave, give thanks for them; when they are conceited, selfish, cowardly, ask to have them altered. In neither case are they you, but only a thing that happens to you. What matters is your intentions and your behavior.” -C.S. Lewis

Monday, March 3, 2014

Legalism/Sympathy

What is legalism?

When I hear that word, I think of the Pharisees. They knew scripture better than anyone else, but they used that knowledge to glorify themselves. But I feel like Christians now who are stuck in legalism really aren't like that, at least most. Sure you have your self-righteous, brother condemning type, but you also have those who do good because they believe it to be moral and correct, and they do good out of obedience. I once said in discussion group that obedience out of legalism and obedience out of love will look exactly the same, but the difference is in the heart.

What does it mean to obey out of love then?

To me, legalism is outlined pretty well in 1 Corinthians 13, the Love chapter. It is funny how the other day I saw a picture (seemingly) of two people dating and being intimate with each other, with this passage in the caption. I would say the verse is taken out of context but still applies, albeit I would also say those two do not know love yet as it takes years to cultivate. Anyways in 1 Corinthians 12 Paul outlines an exhaustive list of Spiritual Gifts and how we are to use them for the common good and for the Body. But then in 1 Corinthians 13 Paul adds that if we use these gifts, examples like tongues (v1) and prophecy (v2), or if we were to die as a martyr (v3) or give everything to the poor (v3), but we do not do them out of love, then they become legalistic and useless. Paul then lists out the attributes of love, where if you replace every instance of the word Love with God, it all makes sense. The only purpose of Spiritual Gifts is to use them for the sake of others (John Piper). That is how doing good works out of love looks like.

Lately I've been struggling with this at CMU's ACF. I have a lot of knowledge I can share, and experiences I can draw upon to help those here in their struggles or finding direction. But I can't help but feel slightly prideful as well, and realize also that my experiences are my own and the way I teach doesn't resonate with everyone's version of the gospel (who God means to them, how they interact with the gospel, their own personal experiences with faith). I truly believe that if I love my brothers and sisters, I must tell them the truth. But the opposite is also true: Truth must be spoken in love. These two are forever intertwined in scripture (1 Corinthians 13:6, Ephesians 4:15, 2 Thessalonians 2:10, 1 Peter 1:22, 1 John 3:18). If I try to speak the truth to my brothers and sisters but I don't do it out of love, with pride or self-righteousness or without gentleness and caring, then I will have accomplished nothing and sinned against them. All in all, I just want to help people in God's timing, and always have the spirit of vulnerability and gentleness, and be willing to listen to people share about their brokenness. I also want to be able to share about my past sufferings as well, and boast about how God and God alone helped me overcome it all. And if I cannot do any of that, at least I can pray and give up control of my life and my influence in people's lives up to God, who is in control of everything. An older brother (in his 40's) in my mens group shared to me that he believes God gave him all his struggles and trials to teach him one thing, to be able to sympathize with those struggling now. I want to be able to do that.

Please, please, please do not rebuke your friend with self-satisfying relish.  No one should ever enjoy rebuking a friend.  There will be a shaking voice, tears in your eyes, trembling hands, a sincere conviction, and a heart dripping with gracious love.  You won’t expect them to listen to you, but to listen to the truth.  Anything else is just your flesh trying to prove a point.  Then you need to go back to the lab in prayer to wrestle that flesh into the ground.  You don’t ever rebuke to prove something.  You rebuke to help your friend away from the edge of death. - J.S. Park

Wednesday, February 26, 2014



Today I broke an apple with my bare hands. I still remember we used to do this at ACF retreats during lunch.

The simplest truths.

Edit: I also managed to injure my hand...oh sadness.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Where your Identity is, is where your Heart is also (Idols)

You can idolize video games,
You can idolize sports,
You can idolize exercise,
You can idolize laziness,
You can idolize your Iphone,
You can idolize a TV show,
You can idolize anime,
You can idolize your clothes,
You can idolize culture,
You can idolize an activist movement,
You can idolize grades,
You can idolize your fantasies,
You can idolize your career,
You can idolize the future,
You can idolize the past,
You can idolize sex,
You can idolize relationships,
You can idolize friendships,
You can idolize your spouse,
You can idolize yourself (pride)
You can idolize looks,
You can idolize your sexuality,
You can idolize people,
You can idolize your nationality/country,
You can idolize feelings,
You can idolize fellowship,
You can idolize songs,
You can even idolize worship for the sake of worship,
But you cannot idolize God.

Define Biblically what an idol is. Find your idol(s).

Today seminar was cancelled so I played a little game with myself.

I decided to watch a Joel Osteen sermon and compared it to one of the CauseKC's old sermons. More importantly, I looked for code words. I did this for 30 minutes because I couldn't stand any more. Now youtube thinks I like Joel Osteen and suggests his videos to me.

Here is what I tallied:

Joel Olsteen - 25min
God 1111111
Holy Spirit
Prayer
Bible 111
Jesus
Cross
Sin
Grace
Most common phrase: victory

CauseKC - 25min
God 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
Holy Spirit
Prayer 1
Bible 11111
Jesus 111111
Cross 11
Sin 111111
Grace 111
Most common phrase: God's plan

Things I learned. Joel Osteen says (almost) all of the right things, but he omits the most important things. He is basically a glorified inspirational speaker. I guess that's the prosperity gospel for ya.

If I ever here the word "victory" again I am going to shoot myself...

Sunday, February 23, 2014

NOOOO! Found out Dallas Willard died last year! I wanted to meet him...fellow Missourian. Your teachings had led many to understand Kingdom Living and the Sovereignty of God. May you rest in peace in the presence of the Lord and Savior.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2iOlV0niBk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFIdW5tRObw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y466qL6JtA4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhobThHUzcA

(Warning: he has a voice perfect for sleeping to. I don't know how the USC students stay awake in his lectures)

Where Love is, There God is Also


Today I felt a strange uneasiness, something I haven't felt before or in a long time. I don't know if its jealousy or I am sensing impending doom to come. It is almost Spring I guess.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I was reminded of a short story I posted onto fb not so long ago by Leo Tolstoy, the one about the Russian shoemaker. It really reminded me of how we can encounter God in our daily lives, not just during Sunday service or through worship music, but just in the people we see daily. Here is an excerpt that many of us can sympathize with:

“I have no more desire to live,” he said; “I only wish I were dead. That is all I pray God for. I am a man without anything to hope for now.”
And the little old man said to him, “You don’t talk right, Martin: we must not judge God’s doings. The world moves, not by your skill, but by God’s will. God decreed for your son to die, for you—to live. Consequently, it is for the best. And you are in despair, because you wish to live for your own happiness.”
“But what shall one live for?” asked Martin.
And the little old man said, “We must live for God, Martin. He gives you life, and for His sake you must live. When you begin to live for Him, you will not grieve over anything, and all will seem easy to you.”
Martin kept silent for a moment, and then said, “But how can one live for the sake of God?”
And the little old man said, “Christ has taught us how to live for God. You know how to read? Buy a Testament, and read it: there you will learn how to live for God. Everything is explained there.”

Martin Avdeich heard God's voice through a dream, saying "I will meet you tomorrow. Look for me outside your window!" He waited the entire day, unsure who exactly he was going to meet. One can only imagine he was going to see angels or a being clothed in white. Instead, he met some of his neighbors and some strangers as well. To each person he gave something away. In the end God revealed to Martin that through the people he met, he encountered God himself.

Here is the link to the whole story

This week God already revealed to me harshly what happens when I choose to be alone over choosing to be with people. I give into my temptations and don't get my work done haha. Let me encounter God through people today.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Onething 2013

Back in 2013 (wow is already mid-February, I'm really behind on my posts), I went to a conference held by the infamous IHOP fellowship. If you haven't heard of them, they are a 24-hour prayer group which has branches in many states and countries and headquarters in Kansas City. There is a lot of controversy about the group though. For one thing, it is very Pentacostal/charismatic, which is controversial enough. But on top of that, there has been many rumors of cultish practices and problems (such as the murder of 2012), like aggressive leader Lou Ingle making dangerous statements such as the tornado that wiped out Joplin, MO was because of abortions. Needless to say, that statement and many others have caused a lot of backlash. Even more worrying is President of IHOP Mike Bickle, who has a precarious history with a major cult in the KC area. In 1992 he apologized for "being elitist" aka prideful (power to prophesize and heal the sick), and wanted to start anew. For now I will give Mike the benefit of the doubt and trust that God is working in his ministry.

So with all of this, why would I go? Seems like a pretty dangerous place to set foot in. But I truly believe that God can and was using that place for His glory, and if such a large body of believers were gathering only 30 minutes away from me, why shouldn't I go to have fellowship with them? Despite the fears and the controversy, God's kingdom comes first in my heart and I am compelled to love my brothers and sisters and worship in praise to His Holy name.

When I first arrived on the second-to-last day of the conference, I was greeted with what I could call "anti-IHOP" preachers, or sidewalk pastors. Most of them were actually from local churches and had a strong background in cessasionism, which states that all spiritual gifts of the Spirit manifested in the 1st generation disciples were lost over time, as evident in Acts in the Corinthian books, because those specific gifts were only necessary as a source of supernatural evidence of God's power. We in this modern generation have the Bible, and any person claiming to have the gifts is only coincidentally taking credit from God, who can still directly create miracles in this age. One of the preachers I met was Greg, a cop by day and a theologist by night. He firmly debated IHOP attendees that the Bible is the only primary source of the gospel, and any prophecy or "extra" knowledge that people of IHOP claim is heresy. Though he wasn't able to convince anyone who didn't already share his sola scriptura view, he did make a strong argument that almost 4 out of 5 people he interviewed cannot reasonably explain the gospel to him. I actually was a witness to this and felt really sad and burdened by this truth of American Christianity. Most of the attendees believe in God mostly due to feelings of passion and ecstasy (similar to what you see on stage) or personal experiences, but never bothered to apply the teachings of Jesus or bothered to sit down and understand the depth of the sacrifice made on the Cross. To these people, feelings seemingly from the Holy Spirit are enough.

After bidding Greg adieu, I went in and semi-immediately got stuck in the queue for the prophecy room. One of IHOP's most desirable features, one could wait in line for hours to be able to meet up with a person with the gift of prophecy, who can then interpret dreams or nudges into full blown predictions of the future. Since I don't believe in that kind of fortune telling stuff, I quickly left the line. After that I entered the bookstore. Similar to what I've seen in 2011, the majority of the books were from the Forerunner (almost Halo reference) store, with some universal Christian books lining one wall. One could see specific, but not all, books by Francis Chan and David Platt on display, which makes one wonder what was wrong with the other books. Why were they excluded? As surprising as the first time I saw it, there was a table devoted specifically for the End Times. Whether you are a pre or post-millennialist, that table only fuels the claims against IHOP that say IHOP and IHOP-EDU are fronts to building an elite army of Christian soldiers to lead God's followers into battle in Revelations. Kind of kooky but who knows. I'll hold out until more decisive evidence shows up.

In all honesty, one of the major reasons why I attended the second-to-last day was to hear Francis Chan. For someone who is so against cults, the prosperity gospel, and anything not based upon the Bible, why would he seemingly endorse IHOP with all its mixed messages? One only has to start listening to his message to see why. Here is a facebook message I posted almost immediately after the message:

Francis Chan just preached quite possibly the most dangerous sermon of this age, with so many pastors and churches ready to jump on him if he said even the tinest thing wrong, AND HE NAILED IT! WITH LOVE! Surprisingly, the was the best part wasn't even about that. All about Jesus.

Yes there were many who were watching the stream, including probably every notable radical/reformed pastor in the world, ready to disown or shake their heads in disappointment at Francis Chan. It was very clear that Francis was addressing these men in the first 10 minutes of his message, as well as teaching the story of the Gospel to the IHOPers, many I noticed were hearing it for the first time in full. He went on to criticize many bad theologies that are often held modern Christians, such as marrying a non-believer, having divorce, refusing to accept hell, and selectively ignoring wrath as part of God's character. Francis Chan then went on to subtlety criticize (with love btw) many of IHOP's core messages, such as shifting the focus of revival and prayer to expecting suffering and rejection, and miracles don't happen because God doesn't need them to work in our lives, using many Old Testament prophets as examples. He then ended on the note that alone time with Jesus (through Bible reading especially) was the richest experience he ever had, and trumps over any possible experience of elation praying with a multitude in a prayer room. Here is a brave man who is willing to rebuke many of his brothers and sisters at IHOP while still trying to hope that they can all truly set their priorities straight. In the words of C.S. Lewis, feelings are good, but they are not the greatest thing. God is. God is enough.

For me, I learned a lot from Francis Chan's sermon, which was very powerful and more meaningful than any of the emotion packed worship songs at the conference. It was also notable that the following night, Corey Russell really botched up the story of King David, and went back to the old IHOP message of bringing revival is important and more is better, totally contradicting Francis Chan's message and twisting Biblical context for an in-house purpose. To be honest, I still enjoy IHOP's prayer room and songs, as well as the rave fest for the countdown, the experience reaffirmed in me the idea to believe in God and the gospel through scriptural truth and reasoning, and to trust God independently of my feelings or my heart. I felt like many of the attendees were marginalizing who the Holy Spirit really is (the Helper and part of the Trinity), as well as boxing up Jesus for their own goals. Like Francis Chan, I will still call them my brothers and sisters, but I will also pray diligently that they are confident in their faith and trust God even in the darkest times when all feelings of closeness cease, and not be so impressionable and equate human emotions as voices from the Holy Spirit.

Monday, February 17, 2014


"You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words: but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw -- but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported. Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of -- something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut wood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat's side? Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it -- tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest -- if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself -- you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say "Here at last is the thing I was made for". We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain 

Somehow, this is so deep that I'm going to spend this week pondering the entire meaning held within this passage.