Discomfort in peace

"Where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are

happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are

tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember

yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be—or so it feels—

welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when

all other help is in vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face,

and the sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that silence.

You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence

will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house.

Was it even inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was as strong as

this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of

prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble." - C.S. Lewis

"I am not in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him." - C.S. Lewis

Of this we’re certain; no one who dared knock

At heaven’s door for earthly comfort found

Even a door—only smooth, endless rock,

And save the echo of his voice no sound.

It’s dangerous to listen; you’ll begin

To fancy that those echoes (hope can play

Pitiful tricks) are answers from within;

Far be.er to turn, grimly sane away.

Heaven cannot thus, Earth cannot ever, give

The thing we want. We ask what isn’t there

And by our asking water and make live

That very part of love which must despair,

And die, and go down cold into the earth,
Before there's talk of springtime and rebirth.

-C.S. Lewis