Today during breakfast I decided to look up the images of the beheaded christian children in Iraq.

I nearly puked.

I wish I did.

I wanted to print out the pictures of the dad holding up the limp, headless body of his daughter and shove it into the faces of all the Christians I know. But that wouldn't be very loving would it? What can we do about it...pray? Give some money? Make people more wary of me and avoid me in fear that I will shove more reality into their faces?

My heart is in agony today, and I know EXACTLY why. It breaks in the same way God's heart breaks for his children who are losing their lives for their faith in Iraq and Syria. It breaks for all of my brothers and sisters here who believe they are "suffering" and believe the events happening overseas do not undermine or negate their "suffering." Look at reality. Is your own suffering just some kind of self-glorification or self-idolatry, or is it really true suffering? Did you just find out you got cancer? Were you just tortured for the name of Christ, like the apostles were? Did you get a telephone call saying that your daughter just died in a car crash? If not, GET OVER YOURSELF!

In a more gentle tone, I always have (day) dreams that my sufferings are real. I thought I've had it bad. I deceive myself telling that everyone abandons me or hates me or ignores me or treats me like scum. I've had those feelings of heartbreak when I learn that I'm not going to get something I really really wanted (a relationship or fellowship) or someone who I really cared about doesn't see me in the same way. I am very selfish and also believed my suffering was justified, just read any of my earlier posts on this blog. But it doesn't compare with the current sufferings of my brothers and sisters in Iraq today. It just doesn't. I would be sinning gravely against these brothers and sisters if I pretended my suffering was in the same category as theirs. Just pretending. Holy Spirit convict me.

I really don't think saying "Oh but they are now in heaven and have eternal peace and joy" skirts the issue here. To be Christian is to love, because God first loved us. That means we have to know what breaks God's heart and makes our Lord sad. Only then can we love in accordance to His will.

I'm going to try to hold a prayer meeting sometime this weekend for these children and families. They are suffering for Christ. They are trying to survive while we just sit here and indulge in our own bubble of SELF (self-glorification/selfishness/self-esteem/self-worry/self-idolatry). For just one day, one hour, can we not think about ourselves and just think about others and God?

I want to post the pictures here on this blog, but that would just end up getting the blog banned.

Here are some pictures linked elsewhere