Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. - Romans 5

Friday, June 4, 2010

What is Love?

Its so simple, yet its so hard.
So what is Love?
How do I find it?
How do I define it?

Well, lets start with whats not Love.
Love is not a feeling. This quote explains it all.
"Love is not a feeling. If it was.. marriage vows make no sense… you can't promise to have a feeling. feelings change. Love is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person."

Love is not chemicals.
"A team of scientists recently found that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that last 12 to 18 months. After that, you and your partner are on your own."

Then what is it?
It is a verb? Is it a state of existence or mind? Is it a noun, where you can "accumulate" it and "assimilate" it into yourself?

From a Christian perspective, God is Love. What does that mean?
You look at one of the most quoted verses in the Bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

It describes Love, but never tells you what Love IS. Only elsewhere do we see those same traits equated with the God of the Bible.

You might as well tell all of us that we can never Love or never possess Love...

What are some other definitions of Love?

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." - Mark Twain

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you." -Sarah Dessen

"Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it" - Nicholas Sparks

"Where there is love there is life."
-Ghandi

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
- Robert Frost

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." - Joan Crawford

I still like my ex-suitemate's definition of Love the best. You can read it here:

I Love You

Trust me. It is really good.

How do you find Love?
I have always wondered, whether the state of a person called "in love" lasts? I have equated it the combination of hormones and feelings, concocted by the body and soul. But is there more? Shouldn't a person love their friends, family, even their pets? What is the difference between a friendship and a romance, beside said chemicals and feelings which do not last.

Is there True Love?
People tell me young couples they know have True Love. I tell them you cannot be sure. I point them to the old couples I know, who have been through fire and water together, and that their "Love" has been tested by time and age. Maybe that is True Love. Still I cannot be sure. I guess Love is something to be experienced, not seen. Yet, sometimes in the streets, out of the corner of my eye, I do catch a glimpse of Love. Whether its a small gesture, or a fleeting sound, I know deep down in my heart that that's Love.

I still don't know exactly what Love is, nor do I know how to fully Love someone. Anyone. For me, understanding exactly what Love is means understanding God 100%. And everyone knows if you understand God, you might as well be God. So, thanks for following my thought process, and I hope to gradually come to understand Love more, unclouded by ignorance, unhampered by jealousy. God is Love (1 John 4:16).


Edit: Can the words "Care" and "Love" be interchanged? It is so much easier to say "I care for someone" then to say "I Love them." Especially in the unconditional sense, fellowship sense.

2 comments:

  1. This is a good post. Let me know when you find out what love is.

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I care for you" vs. "I love you".

    Hmmm....

    It seems that the second one can be used to express unconditional love. The first sounds more incomplete, like something a girl would say to a guy who she just broke up with ("I still 'care' about him...but..."). It shows more of a distant concern than an all-out risk of self-donation.

    I think that it takes time and maturity to understand what "I love you" really means. I remember, the first time I told that to a girl was when I was 15. Since then, I haven't ever told that to someone who's not in my immediate family/relatives.

    I think it's awesome how God shows you what "I love you" means--not through 'girl experience' or whatever. One of my discoveries this summer, was that your knowledge of God's love for you deepens with your knowledge of how big of a screw-up you actually are. The more 'miserable' and sinful I realize I am, the more I realize what love really means--because I'm a jerk but God still loves me anyways. I read somewhere that God doesn't love you less because you do bad things, and God doesn't love you more because you do good things. He loves you before you can do anything good or bad--he loves you for the person that you are.

    That's damn hard to do with other people, and even ourselves. We see what we don't like, and then we identify ourselves and others with this things.

    So, I think one of the cool things about singleness is that you can focus on improving the quality of your love--being able to "give your heart away 'for free'".

    The best place to learn this, I'm starting to see, is at home. The home is where you feel least motivated to be your best self for others--after all, "its 'just' my brother, my dad, or my mom..." But it turns out it's the best place to learn patience, cheefulness, and effort.

    My sister said that the way that you are in your first home is the way you will be in your second home (after your married). We have to start forming good habits NOW, if we want to make our soulmates and kids happier--not to mention everyone around us right now.

    This is part of the reason why I stopped daydreaming about future possibilities, because there's always someone to love in my life right now. And the best way to prepare for loving tomorrow is by loving today.

    It's all starting to make sense now...

    ReplyDelete