Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. - Romans 5

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Words of Wisdom

I will use this blog to make me a better person:

People who are not good looking actually have a better chance of finding real love. Its because they know fully that their partner loves them for who they are. Beautiful people will always doubt in their mind, even by the tiniest amount, that their partner loves them only for their physical beauty. For some beautiful people, that is all they want. But for most, that is not enough.

Do not hold onto the key to your heart tightly to your chest. Do not clutch it so dearly that God cannot use it to unlock doors that lead to opportunities and saving. But do not hold it out at arm's length, giving it to her, to him, to that person, to this person, begging them to take it. It will be taken from you and misused.

The purpose of a relationship is to be selfless. It is much too often for the purpose of selfishness. A person has to accept being single, and be happy being single, or else they face destruction. The hole in one's hard cannot be filled by another person, only God. One has to be prepared that their calling is to be single the rest of one's life. Only then can you be ready to be in a relationship.
How does fully understand love? How can one understand what it means to be unconditional and sacrificial?

Feelings develop often and fast, like lightning, but to be able to say "I think she might be the one for me" takes time and prayer.

You will only find yourself when you lose yourself.

When I look at myself, I feel like I victimize myself way too often. That incident during sophomore year in high school resulted in my fear to play the piano in front of others. My fingers no longer know the joy of creating beautiful music that calms the confused and
tumultuous heart. But I still play in the basement of Liggett to calm my own heart. Music is just the voices of angels.

I watched my childhood friend leave, never to look back. I watched my home violated and looted. I watched my parents fight and hurt one another. I watched my church betray and then ignore me. I watch as my fellowship enter sickness and despair. I watched as the girl I liked and cared for all my life slap me in the face with reality and cruelness, causing me to fear girls and doubt myself for the longest time. I watch as the world light up with smoke and fire as it devours itself. I ask God "why, why, WHY does suffering and pain happen to me?" Alas, maybe I say too many whys, and count my misfortune one too many times. I should spend more time counting my blessings, one by one.

I complain and wallow in my bitterness too much. I live with hatred and bitterness in my heart, and look with my eyes all day long with sadness. But I see suffering all around me, people who are worse off than me. And they have Joy.

My mom has Joy. My mom has been through four (at least) surgeries. She has faced cancer many times on so many fronts. But the reason why she keeps on fighting, as she tells me, is so that she can live and protect my brother and me. She has the will to live so that my brother and I can have the caring and nurture we deserve. She has the will to live so that I can experience what Love truly is. And she finds Joy in the ultimate calling God has given her.

I chose BME for one reason: to help others, specifically a friend who has muscular dystrophy. As of right now, it is too late for him. It is too late for me to do anything to help. Confined to a wheelchair, he knows he will never live a normal life and will die young. He knows he will never find a girl in his life that will love him and be with him. He will never have romance. But he can still stand up in the light of his struggles and have a smile on his face. He has Joy. And I can only fathom how much it means to him that I live and help him get the most out of this world. Every time I meet his parents, they will never cease to thank me for what I have unconsciously and inconsequentially done on whims. But that is Love. If the only reason I should never try to leave this world early, it would be for the people whom life I have touched, and for the many more lives in the future I will meet, get involved in, and save.

Sometimes I complain a lot. And then something happens that shows me how pathetic my suffering is. My friend's apartment can burn down, and all his possessions are lost. Yet he can continue to live on with life, saying "well, no point in moping, there is nothing I can do but to continue on with life." That is all life is, to do one's best and don't regret.

I wonder what it is like to be persecuted, but I already know I've been persecuted. A pastor once told me that if I don't find persecution outside AND inside the church, I am not really doing much for the kingdom. I hope I can love unconditionally. I hope I can love sacrificially.

Lets just say, I always know the answers to my problems, even when I tell you I don't. I've had enough experience, discipleship, counseling, training, and sharing to know that the answer to life is 42. But I guess knowing the answer is not enough. I don't understand my answers, and most of the time choose not to. So is life really all about the road and not where it leads?

(k, preaching done, back to work)

2 comments:

  1. A small comment can't respond to all of the things in this post. But I don't think words can define what love is, no matter how voluminous or specific.

    It may be too simplistic of an answer, but all the words in the world don't amount to what the Word has told us about love. Our words, our understanding, our reasoning cannot match the wisdom of the Word. Sometimes I feel like the head learns faster than the heart, but the heart is what matters. Our hearts are often hard, and I pray that the love of the Lord pours into your heart and softens it so that it may learn what love truly is: love of the Lord, love of your neighbors, love of yourself, love of your wife, and love of life.

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  2. "love of a husband for a wife" is probably a better way to phrase "love of your wife"

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