Taiwan Pride

Taiwanese...what does it mean to be taiwanese?

I look at my body, and there are two places that prove that I was born Taiwanese. One can be 'fixed,' the other will be a permanent reminder on my left shoulder.

What does it mean to have Taiwanese pride? Hoikken, Hakka, Mountain Folk. What does it mean to be native? Why do we seek so much in order to gain our own independence.

Taiwanese culture and education is different from China's. We still teach the traditional Confucianism values in class. We read the famous literature and poems of Chinese past. We go through the motions.

What does it mean to really be taiwanese? Does it mean we know all the tourist sites? Or does it mean we can name every store that has ever been on our block the last 20 years, watched them go up and get torn down, watch them switch hands and owners. From a side-street restaurant to a video store, then to a 7-11. Those motorcycle shops and cell-phone corners. Remember under the bridges we used to play? Remember the elementary schools we used to sweep? Remember the parks we were taken by our parents to set off fireworks at New Years?

I was brought up Taiwanese. I ate Taiwanese food, taught Taiwanese culture, and seen Taiwanese pride. But my family, both sides, do not want any part of it. My grandparents were sent to japan, my other grandparents escaped massacre from the civil war. Where is the pride, when families are torn apart and lives are destroyed?

Pride: All pride is sin, and so national pride is just another sin right? We say the word pride as if its a blessing or a strength. But pride is pride, and it stems from the sinful nature we all have in ourselves. And there is evidence where it manifests. As if i'm going to embody Taiwanese pride that allowed youths to beat my dad over and over again. As if i'm going to embody the pride that cursed my family, and cursed many others. As if i'm going to embody the pride that is choking and destroying the island of Formosa, Beautiful Isle. The 10 golden years are gone, and the reason was Taiwanese pride. God cannot penetrate Taiwan's shores, and it is because of Taiwanese pride. People die everyday, and its because of pride.

I love Taiwan, as much as I hate America. There was a chance that i could have grew up there. There was a chance I would never have left its shores. If that happened, maybe I wouldn't have to struggle with my bitterness and past. Maybe I could have the glorious life my cousins have. Haha...glorious. Whats so glorious about a country that cannot hold any future for its youth?

I believe I have more Taiwanese culture embodied into me and my upbringing than almost all other Taiwanese-Americans I know, at Washu, California, home. But i do not share their pride. All i share is the suffering of the people of Taiwan, but the beauty and culture that is there as well. That is why I can connect with people who have lived their entire lives in Taiwan, look at Google Earth and point to the points on the map where we as children once roam and played. Picking up BB's, catching tadpoles, lounging around in the Taiwanese humid sun. Anyone can eat the food, anyone can shop and visit tourist sites, but its whole different story to live as a local.

2 summers ago, I visited Taiwan for the first time as a tourist. It broke my heart that I could no longer call it my home.

How can there be a world where Love and Pride exist intertwined?

Galatians 3:26-28