All I've got, all I am
All my dreams, all my plans
I'm holding back
I'm holding nothing back from You

All I've got, all I am
All my dreams, all my plans
I'm holding back
I'm holding nothing back from You

I surrender it all
I lay it before You
For all of my days
I'll give You the glory

I count it all as loss
I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You
My God

I count it all as loss
I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You
My Lord, my God

All I've got, all I am
All my dreams, all my plans
I'm holding back
I'm holding nothing back from You

I surrender it all
I lay it before You
For all of my days
I'll give You the glory

I count it all as loss
I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You
My God

I count it all as loss
I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You
My Lord, my God

I surrender it all
I lay it before You
For all of my days
I'll give You the glory

You caused me to see
My heart is divided
Lord, take all of me
'Cause I have decided

I count it all as loss
I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You
My God

I count it all as loss
I count it all as loss
Compared to knowing You
My Lord, my God, yeah

"No matter where she stood, she was in the center of the room. Do not misunderstand. She was not loud, or vain. We stare at a fire because it flickers, because it glows. The light is what catches our eyes, but what makes a man lean close to a fire has nothing to do with its bright shape. What draws you to a fire is the warmth you feel when you come near."

Sigh, The Name of the Wind is making even me into a romantic.

Now I just need to find the seven words that will make a person love me.
(apparently they are "I was just wondering why you’re here")

“Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts. There are seven words that will make a person love you. There are ten words that will break a strong man's will. But a word is nothing but a painting of a fire. A name is the fire itself."

Why can't I pronounce "depth" properly...it makes me feel like I'm fobby or something. Actually I think I have dyslexic speech, because I kept on stumbling over my sentences when talking to the freshman on Monday night.

How do you say it?

dep?
dep-th?
dep-f?
dep-t?
def?
deth?

I think I've used every form above before.

I think...people should never quote themselves (on their blogs or wherever). It just looks arrogant, as if no one else has ever came up with a similar or exact idea (sometimes with near exact wording). Heck it is practically plagiarism, taking probably what Jesus or Paul or another theologian has said/written as your own. Give credit where credit is due (like God revealing a tidbit of wisdom), and take time to see if someone else has said the idea before you. Aren't quotes supposed to be quoting someone else and not yourself?

Basically it looks as if they only focus on themselves and ignorant of all the books in the world. This goes double for Christian bloggers. Seriously, the amount of Christian and theological text spans several thousand years...no idea or controversy or explanation of the Gospel is new anymore, just rediscovered time and time again in a new person's life. Last time I checked, the message and life of the Gospel was timeless, living Word alive with God before time began.

So if you are going to share, share it in a personal way without a need to give glory to yourself by adding your name to the end of it. Wasn't that the very purpose of saying Amen right?

- small fish (KPLD)

aka go read some books, even some fiction (or watch some sermons). There is a lot of wisdom there. Also go listen to someone's testimony. There is a lot of life experience everyone has, and it is your job to go immerse yourself in it, and maybe do some good as well

Just...don't be like this guy. Seriously...giving pre-set links to immediately post his quotes on twitter? His message and content are for sure good, but he's got quite a head

Update: I don't want anyone to ever quote me. What I know, my knowledge and wisdom, are gifts from God revealed by the Holy Spirit as Truth. And if it is Truth, then it is consistent with what God has revealed to everyone that came before me, so my ideas are most likely not new. since Truth has been constant from the beginning of time. And if you resonate with any of my ideas or experiences, then that is God working in you through me, and He gets all the credit.

In each of us God reveals the tiniest fraction of Himself, as if He is a vast ocean and we hold only a tiny drop in our lives, but together as the Church we proclaim to the world His Love and His Kingdom.

“In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that – and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison -you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S. Lewis

The church should never abuse or shame its members. I don't even see how this can possibly fit into the message of the Gospel or the Cross, and definitely not in the message of Love.

Note: church discipline is for sure allowed, but it has to serve a purpose of building up the church.

 

It's...aerodynamic. Or a football shape. I laughed sooooo hard at McDonalds today when I saw this picture. Probably the best 1 hour of solitude (or however alone you can be at a McDonalds) I've had in a long while.

source

No Cross, No Crown

I would daydream about putting force fields around churches and missionary houses, that i can protect them and keep christians safe. How cool wont that be?

Wont people see this and believe?

No.

There is no glory without suffering. God is not glorified in safety. God is not safe.

What is the Gospel?

Preach the Gospel to yourself over and over again. We still sit on our own throne in our hearts, saying "I am all that matters." - Matt Chandler

http://thegospelcoalition.org//article/whats-all-this-gospel-centered-talk-about

Tumblr Transfer

Today I decided to give up tumblr, reducing it back to its original use of watching over people in the fellowships silently, and only because people are more willing to post what's in their hearts than share it face to face. I realized it has been becoming more and more of an idol and feeding into my pride over the past year, and even though it hasn't been too consuming I'm going to nip it in the bud before it gets over my head. It is pretty obvious that when people are spending more time in fellowship, discipleship, and just plain fun, they spend less time posting on social media, which is a good thing. People tend to just rant and complain or show off (heheheh me sometimes) on tumblr. I made my 100 (101) posts and that shall be the end to it.

Below are some posts from the tumblr that I'm moving back here that aren't already in this blog. I hope one day I can just share this blog, which is many times more honest and real than the tumblr, and has all of positive sides as well as my negative sides and immature past still dwelling in the bowels of this blog.

I did leave the hug post on that tumblr, probably the most real and honest post I made there.

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"A youth knelt down to pray and said, ‘God, I can sing so well I wish to sing for you. I can dance so well, I wish to dance for you. I can play music so well, I wish to play for you. I can think so well, I wish to invent for you. There are so much I can do for you. Please use all my giftings for your purpose and glory. I want to give you my best.’ God answered, ‘My child, thank you for willingly offering all your gifts to me. But those are not your best. Your best is your LIFE. Will you surrender your LIFE to me. When I have your LIFE, I have everything. I am interested in who you are not what you have.’ What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God." Eleanor Powell

Our entire life is an act of worship, a dangerous one at that.

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Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 

I want to hear this from God everyday, and I want to be able to say this everyday

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"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
- The Lord to Joshua

My most favorite verse and the one I gave to my best friend at his wedding. May it sustain us all in times of victory and loss, in times of jubilee and times of lost hope, for God is always with us.

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“Few people arise in the morning as hungry for God as they are for cornflakes or toast and eggs.”
― Dallas Willard

R.I.P.

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The painful truth that I’m faced with is that social media is not the problem. My heart is. I’d distract myself with a box of Cheerios if that is all that I had. I’ve grown terrified of solitude. Of silence. I’m not even sure what I am running from anymore. I just know that my heart has an intense longing for distraction and it’s massively hindering my relationship with the Lord.
- Mike Leake

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"you never never never never never never never never never never never never outgrow your need for the gospel"
 - John Piper (and yes, the number of the word “never” is correct)

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"We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for. God engineers everything; wherever He puts us, our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to Him in that particular work. ‘Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.’"
 - Oswald Chambers

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I’m tall, fat, rather bald, red-­‐‑
faced, double-­‐‑chinned,black-­‐‑
haired, have a deep voice,
and wear glasses for reading,”
- C.S. Lewis to an avid fan (Dat humility!)

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http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2014/04/23/answering-gods-call-beyond-the-walls-of-the-church/

“Rather, the difference is found in the motive, goal, and standard. John Frame writes, ‘The Christian seeks to change his tires to the glory of God and the non-Christian does not. But that’s a difference that couldn’t be captured in a photograph.’”
“’Calling’, he said, ‘is the truth that God calls us to himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and everything we have is invested with a special devotion, dynamism, and direction.’ When we reduce the notion of ‘calling’ to work inside the church, we fail to equip our people to apply their Christian faith to everything they do, everywhere they are”
- Tullian Tchividjian

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http://unspokenblog.wordpress.com/2014/04/26/my-wife-has-tattoos-marriage-new-birth-and-the-gospel/

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When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked.

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”

And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

2 Kings 6:15-17
I’ve always loved the imagery in this verse. I also love the overflowing protection and hope God outpours onto us.

Seriously though, angels on flaming chariots? What POWER!

Let us not forget. He cares for us and will deliver. Matthew 10:28-31, Matthew 6:28-34.

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"God’s presence is not the same as the feeling of God’s presence and He may be doing most for us when we think He is doing least."
- C.S. Lewis

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“You must ask for God’s help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again.”
 - C.S. Lewis

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I asked God for strength, that I might achieve— I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health, that I might do better things— I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy— I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men— I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life— I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for—but everything I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all people, most richly blessed!
- A Christian Confederate Soldier’s Prayer

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http://vimeo.com/65391131

Tim Keller on Revival

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“Sometimes when you hear an awesome testimony, read certain Christian books, or see the way another person sings in worship service, it’s easy to become discouraged. Why can’t I have a faith like that? Am I doing it wrong? Do I really get it? What am I missing?

This is a losing game … So much of church relies on emotionalism and “feeling God,” so when we no longer feel God, we think something is wrong with us. The truth is: the Bible never calls us to continually duplicate our highs. We’re called to remember the Most High in our lows.

If you tried to have a wedding every day of your marriage, it would get exhausting. Preachers often try to do this to you in church, and this is why we keep hitting a dead end. Churches try to whip up a sacred moment out of thin air, but instead should really be reminding us of the reality that Jesus is present in both our mountaintops and valleys.”

- J.S. Park

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A.Z. Tozer on who the Holy Spirit really is.

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“Doctrines are not God: they are only a kind of map. But that map is based on the experience of hundreds of people who really were in touch with God—experiences compared with which any thrills or pious feelings you and I are likely to get on our own are very elementary and very confused. And secondly, if you want to get any further, you must use the map. You see, what happened to that man in the desert may have been real, and was certainly exciting, but nothing comes of it. It leads nowhere. There is nothing to do about it. In fact, that is just why a vague religion—all about feeling God in nature, and so on—is so attractive. It is all thrills and no work: like watching the waves from the beach. But you will not get to Newfoundland by studying the Atlantic that way, and you will not get eternal life by simply feeling the presence of God in flowers or music. Neither will you get anywhere by looking at maps without going to sea. Nor will you be very safe if you go to sea without a map.”
 - C.S. Lewis

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"…the path of wisdom was to learn to live in conformity with this unyielding reality. That wisdom rested largely in developing qualities of character, such as humility, compassion, courage, discretion, and loyalty. Modernity reversed this. Ultimate reality was seen not so much as a supernatural order but as the natural world, and that was malleable. Instead of trying to shape our desires to fit reality, we now seek to control and shape reality to fit our desires. The ancients looked at an anxious person and prescribed spiritual character change. Modernity talks instead about stress-management techniques."

 - Tim Keller

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I would suggest this video to any parent who is struggling with how to love a gay child, and to any Christian to how we as the Church should react to gay people and gay Christians.

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Stand for life 2014: Francis Chan, John Piper, John Ensor

Disclaimer: Graphic images and an even more graphic message

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"Following God may end badly"

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"God is enough. He is good. He will take care of us. He will satisfy us. He will get us through this. He is our treasure. Whom have I in Heaven but you and on Earth there is nothing that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart and my little girl may fail, but you are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.’ That makes God look glorious!”

 - John Piper

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http://vimeo.com/25055177

The Idolatry of Youth Culture in Worship The church isn’t a concert hall or a lecture hall, but it is a banquet hall

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Reality - Paul Washer

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“The Scriptures have a clear theme that our doubts never disqualify us from embracing Christ and flexing out His mission. Instead it’s very possible that our idea of “on-fire-for-God” has been skewed by the perpetual weekly rock-show of Sunday emotionalism, and so we feel guilty when we haven’t topped ourselves from last week’s hype. I sympathize with churches that want us to connect this way because it’s a legitimate facet of our faith, but I don’t think our faith is supposed to be on-fire the way we’ve defined it today.I think a faith that keeps serving amidst trials and temptations and severe dry seasons is so much more attractive than the loudest voice in the front pew. And maybe we don’t have to measure ourselves on the amount of our faith, as if we are filling a bucket every week, but rather measure ourselves on the one who is constantly pouring out His grace for us.” 
-  J.S. Park

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Christopher Yuan's testimony
Seems like a good (and ironic) day to share this testimony. Heard it live when he and his mother both shared the testimony.
Notes on his testimony and how to evangelize to homosexuals.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fXhz6u0RzeGBPrhM0kpTzPNCjdAgGY9SVKdLUzkdL3E/edit?usp=sharing

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http://jspark3000.tumblr.com/post/90354223818/what-is-the-defintion-of-grace

Definition of Grace

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“…for many years I simply refused to listen to the Christian answers to this question, because I kept on feeling that, ‘whatever you say and however clever your arguments are, isn’t it much simpler and easier to say that the world was not made by any intelligent power? Aren’t all your arguments simply a complicated attempt to avoid the obvious?’”

“My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I gotten this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such violent reaction against it? A man feels wet when he falls into water, because man is not a water animal: a fish would not feel wet. Of course I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if I did that, then my argument against God collapsed too — for the argument depended on saying that the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my private fancies. Thus in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist — in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless — I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality — namely my idea of justice — was full of sense. Consequently, atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.”
 - C.S. Lewis

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[From senior demon to junior demon] Now comes the joke. The Enemy described a married couple as “one flesh”. He did not lay “a happily married couple” or “a couple who married because they were in love”, but you can make the humans ignore that. You can also make them forget that the man they call Paul did not confine it to married couples. Mere copulation, for him, makes “one flesh”. You can thus get the humans to accept as rhetorical eulogies of “being in love” what were in fact plain descriptions of the real significance of sexual intercourse. The truth is that wherever a man lies with a woman, there, whether they like it or not, a transcendental relation is set up between them which must be eternally enjoyed or eternally endured. From the true statement that this transcendental relation was intended to produce, and, if obediently entered into, too often will produce, affection and the family, humans can be made to infer the false belief that the blend of affection, fear, and desire which they call “being in love” is the only thing that makes marriage either happy or holy. The error is easy to produce because “being in love” does very often, in Western Europe, precede marriages which are made in obedience to the Enemy’s designs, that is, with the intention of fidelity, fertility and good will; just as religious emotion very often, but not always, attends conversion. In other words, the humans are to be encouraged to regard as the basis for marriage a highly-coloured and distorted version of something the Enemy really promises as its result. Two advantages follow. In the first place, humans who have not the gift of continence can be deterred from seeking marriage as a solution because they do not find themselves “in love”, and, thanks to us, the idea of marrying with any other motive seems to them low and cynical. Yes, they think that. They regard the intention of loyalty to a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life, as something lower than a storm of emotion. (Don’t neglect to make your man think the marriage-service very offensive.) In the second place any sexual infatuation whatever, so long as it intends marriage, will be regarded as “love”, and “love” will be held to excuse a man from all the guilt, and to protect him from all the consequences, if marrying a heathen, a fool, or a wanton. - C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters

For whole chapter of the book (and the whole book itself), see here:
http://www.bestlibraryspot.net/fantasticfiction/2010/139/5919.html

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http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/06/17/satan-liberal/

I don’t really like this blogger (he is pretty arrogant), nor do I agree with all of his points, and I can care less about the topic at hand. But this post is hilarious and brings up several very good points. It is worth a read.

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“‘Welcome, child,” he said.
“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.” 
- C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

Let us continue to grow in our understanding of God’s sovereignty and His Love, day by day, year by year.

God defying physics.

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"if you think the author of Genesis condones slavery, polygamy, bride selling, male patriarchism, and primogeniture (firstborn), then you haven’t figured how to read. Every time, it brought devestation”
"heh…you think Genesis is primitive? So now we live in a society where a female’s looks won’t affect her success in her life in modern liberated NYC? Oh how we have overcome our primitive human nature in this day and age"
-Tim Keller, paraphrased, obligatory sarcasm

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Continuing to remind myself of the greatness of God.
Today, I was flipping through my old journals, and I found this quote from my sister, lyricsnlyfe.

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Bread. Something that has always been a symbol of provision, regardless of what form it takes.

“After the Korean War ended, South Korea was left with a large number of children who had been orphaned by the war…relief agencies came in to deal with all the problems that arose in connection with having so many orphan children. One of the people involved in this relief effort told me about a problem they encountered with the children who were in the orphanages. Even though the children had three meals a day provided for them, they were restless and anxious at night and had difficulty sleeping. As they talked to the children, they soon discovered that the children had great anxiety about whether they would have food the next day. To help resolve the problem, the relief workers in one particular orphanage decided that each night when the children were put to bed, the nurses there would place a single piece of bread in each child’s hand. The bread wasn’t intended to be eaten; it was simply intended to be held by the children as they went to sleep. It was a ‘security blanket’ for them, reminding them that there would be provision for their daily needs. Sure enough, the bread calmed the children’s anxieties and helped them sleep.”
- RC Sproul, The Prayer of the Lord

What are the anxieties we have in our daily lives? Getting the right grades? Finding a job? Seeking a relationship? Providing for our family?

Remember what our piece of bread we hold in our hands, and He who provides it.

Give us this day our daily bread

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“Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will. If we are trying to do His will we are obeying the commandment, ‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.’ He will give us feelings of love if He pleases. We cannot create them for ourselves, and we must not demand them as a right. But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.”

—	C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (via allisonyhuang)

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“I have a notion that what seem our worst prayers may really be, in God’s eyes, our best. Those, I mean, which are least supported by devotional feeling and contend with the greatest disinclination. For these, perhaps, being nearly all will, come from a deeper level than feeling.”
 - C.S. Lewis

All I’m gonna say is, don’t give up talking to our heavenly father.

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“But,” said Lewis, “myths are lies, even though lies breathed through silver.”

"No," said Tolkien, "they are not."

"…just as speech is invention about objects and ideas, so myth is invention about truth."

"We have come from God (continued Tolkien), and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Indeed only by myth-making, only by becoming a ‘sub-creator’ and inventing stories, can Man aspire to the state of perfection that he knew before the Fall. Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic ‘progress’ leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil."

"You mean," asked Lewis, "that the story of Christ is simply a true myth, a myth that works on us in the same way as the others, but a myth that really happened? In that case," he said, "I begin to understand.”

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http://jspark3000.tumblr.com/post/93122105043/christian-bloggers-who-bash-the-church-as-a-platform

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http://adam4d.com/box/

Don't put God in a box, but also don't use that as an excuse to attack someone.

"The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing.
These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers.
For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.”
- C.S. Lewis

http://juliahochu.tumblr.com/post/97173792321/so-here-we-are
A brother and sister who are honest about the the two months leading up to their wedding. I watched them struggle with finding God, especially the groom in cell group, and at times I thought it was silly (like dinner at Red Robin one time), but I do understand where they are coming from and support them 100%. Now that they are married, I pray and hope to be accountable for their marriage and following in the covenant and purpose of marriage.

What is the purpose of marriage? Another way to phrase it is this: why did God invent marriage and for what purpose does it hold as a sacrament in furthering God's kingdom?

Anyways it was the first wedding I've been to where a groom cried. June and I were even talking about it on the way up to the venue, how I've never seen a groom cry before and Thomas didn't seem like the sort to cry. He always seemed strong, or at least headstrong. But I was proven wrong and June got her wish to see Thomas cry. Those tears were beautiful, symbolic of how Christ cries in jubilation for his bride the Church.

Now I see Thomas at church and ask him how his marriage is coming along, and his one word answer was "suffering." He explained that "suffering" produces the kind of joy that is worthy of the Kingdom of God and that "suffering" is what brings him closer to his wife and glorifies God. I told him to expect even more of that "suffering." (Sometimes I think Christians are spiritually masochistic...hey its Biblical. I also coin the word "spiritual incest" and "spiritual necrophilia" in context of Biblical marriage).

Ya...I did tear up when reading this. I hope to follow the four points listed by Thomas, and I did watch him and Julia struggle to follow them the summer before the wedding. Separation from each other must have been excruciatingly painful, but it is through this humility and pain that God's voice gets through to our minds and hearts. They will grow strong in this God centered, God pointing, God glorifying marriage.

I really hope I find a woman who can also follow these precepts, to at least be able to say "God is enough."

Today I went to a middle eastern restaurant/market. I really liked the food, and Kelvin was so hyped up for the low prices of lamb and fillio puff pastry. But what stood out was how everyone there would call us "brother." They also were diligent about prayer to Allah, whom they called "most merciful one" on the donation boxes they had up. Now I know their prayers are ritualistic, but at least they make time for it every day and every week. I can't say I pray like that. Yes our prayers should be honest. Yes our prayers should be heartfelt and not routine or scripted. But there is something about making it important...that I feel like I am lacking in.

All the Muslims I've ever met have been really nice, and yet the people who've hurt me the most had been Christians. What is wrong with this world...

Note: a brother reminded me that treating someone as a brother (or sister) is very different from just calling them as one. Still, we should start calling each other brothers and sisters, and cultivate the deep and rich meaning of that title as co-heirs  with Christ of God's inheritance and kingdom.

Izaya came home pretty late and tired. Trudging into his room, he quickly scanned it. "Nothing new." Taking off his shoes and closing the door to his apartment behind him, he heard a thump. Turning around and peering into the room, he checked for the source of the sound. Nothing looked changed. "Wait...did I leave my Bible on the table?" Izaya squinted at the Bible.

All of the sudden it opened. Izaya frozen and stepped back. There wasn't any breeze, the window was closed. Plus the cover of the Bible was hardback, something that cannot blown open. "Well that's weird." He waited a few minutes but nothing else happened. Finally his shock dissipated, only to be replaced with fatigue. It has been a long day. Avoiding his table, Izaya ducked into his bathroom and proceeded to brush up and prepare for bed. Slipping into his pajamas, Izaya went to the light switch, shoot one last suspicious glare at the book, and flipped switch. Izaya bounced into his futon, said a quick prayer, and closed his eyes.

Sometime in the night Izaya woke with a start.

*shuffle shuffle shuffle.*

It sounded like something was moving along his carpeted floor. Peering over the ledge, he adjusted his eyes into the darkness. Utilizing the faint light filtering through his curtains, he noticed a square like object on the floor. A coldness crept up his spine as he realized it was his Bible that was left on the table, but now it was only a few feet away from him and moving slowing, scuttling like an inchworm. Izaya backed into the corner of his futon, gathering his blankets and pillow in front of himself and clutching them tightly. He has never heard of a book coming to life, much less the Bible. "What do I do? What is going on here!?!?"

The Bible stopped at the base of the futon. By this time Izaya is completely paralyzed with fear. Opening and closing his mouth in gasps, his eyes stared unwavering at the Bible. The pages fluttered a little, and settled on a specific page. By now Izaya's eyes had adjusted to the dark and he could see the heading on the page. "1 Kings 19..."

The Bible flew up and smacked Izaya in the face. An ensuing struggle occurred on the futon, with flailing arms and muffled shouts. Slowly, the thrashing died and a throttled silence entered the room. A fading thought escaped Izaya as he faded into eternal rest. "...I asked for this...I asked God for direct revelation through the Word..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

So this story actually came into my mind during Sunday School today, while talking to TC after we both read and prayed over 1 Kings 19, the passage where Elijah is waiting to hear the voice of the Lord. The reason behind all of this was that we both looked at each other and ask, "did you felt something?" Neither of us did, and yet it felt like we should have. A lot of times when I read the Bible, I want instant and direct revelation. I want to hear the Word of God like Elijah did on Mount Carmel. But most of the time I am greeted with silence. I look at my Bible and expect something to happen...for smoke to rise of the Bible to magically flip to the right page to address my current problems or situation. But it doesn't (at least I hope not...but it would be kind of cool too if it did).

A lot of times I want to hear God in the same way too. Loud voice. Big boom. I echo how Francis Chan, how he wanted God to show him something, like balls of fire falling onto the arena or having the chandelier fall on top of the congregation. "Just something!" But instead, he heard a tiny voice, probably similar to the gentle whisper on Mount Carmel, tell him that God has a purpose, and His purpose during Elijah's faceoff against the Baal worshipers was He revealed His glory in a flashy way to preserve the life of his prophet who was going to die if nothing happened. But we aren't in that kind of dire situation. At least not yet. So asking for something big like flying Bibles or fireballs from heaven isn't going to be daily sightings.

So yeah, this was such a spur of the moment short (horror) story that I don't really know the purpose I have, but I just want to remind myself and others that, like in 1 Kings 19, God doesn't always speak loudly. Actually, most of the time it is through pain that God is yelling at you. Most of the time, it is a gentle whisper. It can be through a voice, but it can also be through the Word. Many times there will be silence, but with the assurance of faith that God is there, we can overcome the feelings of loneliness.

Update: according to this week's Sunday school, asking the Bible to attack you is called "confirmation"...and we ask for it quite often and yet get frustrated when God doesn't comply. As if we can demand things from God and always receive it (see Job as an example)

http://www.chinasmack.com/2014/pictures/wifes-memory-korean-web-comic-viral-with-chinese-netizens.html

 Dis is good. I will write more if I think of more to say.

Devo post #6

9/2/14

1 Thessalonians 2:8

so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.

This is very straight forward. To share the Gospel is probably the single greatest act of love anyone can do for one another, because the Gospel is life and truth and freedom. The Gospel brings us God and Christ and Love. Without the Gospel, we are wretched creatures doomed to hell by our very existence. We deserve nothing, but through the Gospel we obtain everything. So to share the Gospel is to Love in the most deepest and sacrificial way. Yet most times we don’t, because we don’t think of it like that. We are afraid of sharing it to someone we care for that is a non-believer because we fear their rejection, as if their rejection of us will be the end of the possibility of them hearing the Gospel. We think we are loving them by shirking around the truth, trying to be respectful of their beliefs and culture and attitude towards religion, but in the end, we are helping them move away from God, instead of moving them nearer the source of all Love and good in this world. I am also subjected to this foolishness too. I’m afraid of sharing the Gospel to my non-believer friends and one reason is probably because I don’t love them enough. I don’t really care for their salvation. That is probably the biggest reason, along with fear.

That is why it is also important to share our lives “as well.” Because if our lives are a living testimony of God’s mercy, grace, and caring, then these non-believer friends will see that. They will see the earnestness in living out the Gospel. They will be drawn to the unexplainable joy we have (and joy by definition of the Bible comes from the Holy Spirit and at the dawn of accepting Christ, and thus is unobtainable by normal human means to non-believers). We all have the universal aching of emptiness inside, and always looking at others to see how they cope with it. Let us Christians be the people whom others look at and say “they have successfully filled the emptiness in their hearts and are content, even beyond contentment, they have joy and jubilation.” Let non-believers say that about us, despite their ingrain teaching and beliefs that religion is stupid, because the Truth will break down these worldly and philosophical barriers. Let non-believers say that it is impossible to live a “better” or “richer” or “real” life than a Christian who hungers after being Christ-like.

Sharing our lives is also paramount in becoming unified in the Body. How can we be with one another and not try to share our lives? How can we encourage one another, build one another up, care and love for one another, and exemplify God’s love in our daily living and not share our lives with one another? Why do we fear? Are we to judge one another the way pagans do? Are we as the Body that petty to one another, mocking each other for our pasts and lack of certain gifts? Are we self-righteous and prideful like the pharisees?

This year I have resolved to try to share my life more to my brothers and sisters, as well as share to my non-believing friends why I am a Christian and why do I follow an all-powerful and selfish God. He is selfish, but He has every right to. But back to sharing with the Body. I have always been someone quick to listen, but with a distrustful nature and a painful past, been someone who is also quick to say “secret” when others ask of my life. Again, it comes with betrayal, abandonment, and the pangs of pity from my past. But even so, this is no excuse to avoid sharing with my current brothers and sisters. It is no excuse to let my pain and past restrict the possibilities of my future, especially if they are God’s will and calling. To share is to be trusting and intimate, and this fosters fellowship. Without trust, relationships and fellowship will hit a barrier eventually, and the depth of Love that we are called to have with one another won’t be fulfilled. So let me be brave and continue to share, as sharing opens up the risk of being hurt, but also the reward of finding genuine fellowship and community. Let me share like how I did in summer cell group and in prayer meeting, that I show at least my fellow brothers that God and the Church are more real than anything else.

So yeah...I'm gonna echo Bill Cosby's wise words, and call BS on this theology.

But the real problem is, how many of us are quick to say what she is preaching is wrong, and yet we go to church every Sunday with the exact same mentality, or at least try to fake it and say we aren't but still are.

Even more so is how we live our daily lives. Are we living them for God, the Creator and Sovereign Lord and Father of us? Or are we living our lives out for ourselves, desiring only our own petty dreams and feelings?

To this day I still remember how I got abandoned time and time again by people who I thought were my brothers and sisters, for reasons no different than the ones portrayed in this video. I ask myself time and time again, "is what people this is beautiful what God thinks is beautiful?" Is looking buff or skinny with a pretty face and a charismatic attitude what God wants in his people? Does God want musically or athletically talented people?

No.

God has always chosen weak people. Because that way those who watch and hear give credit to God Himself. God has always favored the humble over the proud, because God is a jealous God and He is the only one who has the right to be jealous. When men become proud, they want to be like God and are jealous of God, and when they pretend to be gods in their own worlds, then God becomes jealous of them, and He will punish them in the age to come.

So to this day I ask people if it is right to judge others by physical and superficial values? I try not to, because I remember the days I was judged. Just like in the video, I have to tell myself that these worldly standards are wrong...because I am still here. Why am I still here? God still loves me...always have and always will.

So the church, brothers and sisters, why do we still behave like we are still part of the World? Are we going to follow worldly standards and give into the flesh? Why do we still judge our brothers and sisters by how well they dress or how good looking they are? God has always chosen the weak to shame the strong. God chose the mother's boy Jacob over the master hunter and manly man Esau. God chose weak-eye butt ugly Leah over beauty pageant Rachel. God chose David, the smallest and youngest of his brothers, because God looks at a man's heart and sees holiness. He grew up to be handsome, but be honest, if we were in Samuel's shoes, would we have picked the runt? Paul himself was a terrible speaker and preacher, and yet through the power of the Holy Spirit he was able to bring the Gospel to the gentiles, converting people everywhere he met. Jesus Himself was said to be "not beautiful" and no one was drawn to His appearance. If Jesus were to walk into your church today, no one would give Him a second glance because He was just too plain and unattractive to warrant a second glance.

Just because we are all grown up and live in a politically correct world as adults doesn't mean this kind of harm and wickedness no longer occurs. It is only masked, fed to us in a camouflaged form. We are always quick to idolize people for "looking sharp" or "stylish", or make note of their abs and pecs, but we fail to realize that in turn we demoralize and demonize the "other" people, people that God dearly desires in His Kingdom. No pastor deserves to be removed just because he is fat or unassuming. Likewise others should not be idolized and respected because of their appearance or understanding of fashion. Why do I and others need to face the army of veiled verbal spitballs and half-hearted pity from the body of Christ? Why are some of the most world-focused people I know found in church? God has championed us to see the world as He sees and pursue the things that He deems beautiful.

So what does God think is beautiful? God's chosen nation and people Israel are beautiful to Him. The holy city of Jerusalem is beautiful to Him. A contrite, steadfast, and pure heart is also beautiful to Him. And which parent doesn't think their own children are beautiful?

So remind ourselves of the things God thinks are beautiful, and let us pursue them too. I think it is time for us to really examine ourselves and our standards for beauty, and if need be, have worldly expectations and flesh-based notions of beauty shattered by God's glory and love so that we can be rebuilt upon the foundation of Christ and have a God centered heart to love all that He loves.

We need to spend more time telling each other that their heart are beautiful.

Note: I don't really think that dressing well and being fit are bad, they are good things. But like all good things, when we focus too much and idolize them, then they only reflect our fleshly desires. All I really ask is that we focus on important things, like God's heart, and continuing to learn how to Love. Real, honest, selfless, sacrificial Love.

(source)

This picture. It is like watching your child die, and then you finally get to meet that child again in heaven. And the song!!! This has got to be one of the most tender moments I've ever seen in storytelling. Ever!