Today I totally flashed my not-so-subtle Christianese Narnia wallpaper in front of my drug delivery class before presentation. I wonder...

There are songs in my worship playlist that makes me really sad to listen to, songs that point to specific people, songs that mark sad times in my life, even songs that mark happy times...but to listen to them reminds me of the past and what was lost.

There are even songs that make me infuriated.

But I have to remind me that these songs are not for me, but for the Lord. They are there to remind me to seek after Him, to know that He is all I need. There are songs that are all about Him, His majesty, His awesome power, His lordship, and all praise and honor and adoration belongs to Him.

Let me remember that the next time I sing, for I made today's worship time about myself. I made it about my loneliness, about my desire to find emotional feeling in the songs and peace, that I forgot that I need to give myself to the Lord (as in the lyrics of the songs I sang). It is not about me but You God.

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
when it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name

Greater than all we seek
Greater than all we ask
He has done great things

King above all kings, You deserve our everything

Lord I offer you up my life

What can we give that you have not given? and what do we have that is not already Yours?

Go on scream it from the mountains
Go on and tell it to the masses
That He is God

Oh Lord we cast down our idols

A generation that seeks your face

Weak made strong in the Saviour's love

Like a rose
Trampled on the ground

Here I am take me
As an offering
Here I am giving
Every heartbeat for Your glory
Take me, take me

You hold everything together

The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing your praise unending

For the honor of the Father
For the honor of the Savior
For the honor of the Spirit
For the honor of your Kingdom

Christ is enough for me
Everything I need is in You

I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back
No turning back

Come, hopeless hearts, do not despair
Hide away in the love of Jesus

You are lord of lords
You are king of kings
You are mighty god
Lord of everything

You're Emmanuel
You're the great I am
You're the prince of peace
Who is the lamb

You're the living God
You're my saving grace
You will reign forever
You are ancient of days

You are alpha, omega
Beginning and end
You're my savior, messiah,
Redeemer and friend

A flood for my soul
A well that never will run dry

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful

Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace

Your kindness leads me to repentance
Your goodness draws me to Your side
Your mercy calls me to be like You
Your favor is my delight
Every day, I'll awaken my praise
And pour out a song from my heart

All glory, honor, power is Yours, forever Amen

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow
Praise Him, all creatures here below
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

You are my all in all

“I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”- Bilbo Baggins

Stretched out thin because of research and applications.

Stretched out thin because I cannot meet up with everyone I want to, nor do I have the money to.

Stretched out thin because people in my life are moving ahead of me in relationships and forming their own families, even with children, while I lag behind. 

Gotta remember. Gotta remember. Gotta remember God is my PB and J.

"Your religion is what you do with your solitude (alone time)" - Darrin Patrick

"Our birth control failed"

This was quite possibly the funniest thing I've heard uttered in a while (from the mouth of someone who I didn't think could look that flabbergasted in the face...then again I saw him cry on his wedding day), encompassing the complete irony of something so wonderful as a baby coming with the worst possible way for it to occur (within context). Luckily this was a (newly) married couple (honeymoon baby!) and not...the news I was expecting to hear from another source. And yes, it took a moment to sink in what that phrase meant.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Today Lester Cruzat told his fellowship that God trumps school work and studying any day, any time. When I heard that, the voice inside of me said "YESSSSSS" so hard I almost jumped out of my seat.

So the (almost) exact words were "be faithful to the fellowship, and be studious in your studies, but remember that studies never ever should be before God. God shouldn't be your number 1 priority. God is your ONLY priority, and through Him all other things are fulfilled."

Catch phrases of the month 1

"Fulfill your ministry"

"Your ministry is not your way to please God, but God's gift to you"

When will I be ready to be made ready for marriage?

"God, protect me from what I want"

YOLOBICYCLE - You only live once but in Christ you can live eternally

Why Muslim Dr. Nabeel Qureshi Converted to Christianity

This is quite the testimony. Will have to research into this more.

The cost...family...
remember the cost...

Entitlement

While driving for 26+ hours between Kansas City and Pittsburgh, I came upon the concept of entitlement very often. It occurred in the form of people cutting others off sharply, to shamelessly tailgating, even getting love-bumped during a traffic jam.

Entitlement: obtaining good grades, having people accept you, there existing a girl (or guy) who likes you for who you are (or aren't). We feel like we are entitle to have hatred/malice, holding grudges, deserving forgiveness, or seeking vengeance. We feel entitled to have people to care about us, to respect us, to seek us out as special in their lives.

Maybe another word for entitlement is selfishness, which is then idolatry of self.

He (Jesus) who was entitled to everything instead gave it all up to save us. Compared to any of us, Jesus deserves all entitlement.

“Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important (or, accepted). They don’t mean to do harm, but the harm does not interest them … or they do not see it, or they justify it … because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves” - T. S. Eliot