Love by George Herbert

Love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back,

        Guilty of dust and sin.

But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack

        From my first entrance in,

Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning

        If I lacked anything.

"A guest," I answered, "worthy to be here":

        Love said, "You shall be he."

"I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,

        I cannot look on thee."

Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,

        "Who made the eyes but I?"

"Truth, Lord; but I have marred them; let my shame

        Go where it doth deserve."

"And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"

        "My dear, then I will serve."

"You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat."

        So I did sit and eat.

It seems like October is the month to be sad. I don't mean me, but everyone else around me seems to be hurting. Lonely thoughts. Romantic rejections. Career fears. Marriage fights. Burning out from too much responsibility.

Well even my nightmares of not having community have been creeping in.

Seems like when everyone has depressing thoughts and are on the brink of cracking, they come to me for an ear to listen and maybe a few words of encouragement. I do what I can do. For them, "there is always Dan who I can talk to."

Who do I turn to when I feel anxious? Is it really fair to just tell me "just turn to God?" Don't you who said that have people you spill your guts out to at night?

Opening up the bible is like walking into Jesus' home. we would sit in his lounge, and he would call me over to tell me I am his disciple and friend. "Go. Do as I have told you. Bring more friends over to visit me, so that I may cook a feast for them!" But when I say, "No, I just want to stay here. I don't want to leave," Jesus looks at me sadly.

Reading scripture is to have the relationship with Christ, because where else can you find Jesus' spoken words, transcending time for your ears to hear? But if you don't apply them and live out a Christ-like life, then aren't you just a fan?

P.S. - Prayer is also a method of communicating with God, but I like to think its Him who is listening to us when we pray, and us listening to Him when we read scripture. I am also not downplaying any other forms of communication either.

" I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you! " - Samwise Gamgee

Big words from a small hobbit. This is what accountability should be. This is what brotherhood is!

Galatians 6:5 - for each one should carry their own load. 
Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_NmCh42hZM

Sam: [Both are overcome by exhaustion] Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?
Frodo: No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food... nor the sound of water... nor the touch of grass. I'm... naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil... between me... and the wheel of fire! I can see him... with my waking eyes!
Sam: Then let us be rid of it... once and for all! Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you! 

"Thus far did I come laden with my sin,
Nor could aught ease the grief that I was in,
Till I came hither. What a place is this!
Must here be the beginning of my bliss!
Must here the burden fall from off my back!
Must here the strings that bound it to me crack!
Blest cross! blest sepulchre! blest rather be
The Man that there was put to shame for me!"
- Christian 

Is following my heart biblical? Is following my heart what Jesus wants?

Apologies

Recently I have been learning to fully and wholeheartedly apologize...

To the brothers and sisters of Washu ACF, I apologize. I apologize to all who tried to reach out to me my senior year and were turned away from me, or became fearful that I would lash out at you. I sincerely hope that in the future, by God's planning and grace, we can meet again. At that time, we can share blessings and praise our Lord together.

To the families and elders of GKCCCC, I apologize. I apologize for rebelling against you during my youth and causing everyone to worry about me. I remember all the times the elders took me out to meals, encouraging me that there is hope, hope in fellowship and hope in God. Without your guidance and watchful eye, I would not have grown up to be a man chasing after God's own heart. I am eternally thankful that you all have provided for my family and given me the foundation in God's strength. I am thankful that you placed your trust and dreams of posterity on me. I will do my best to carry this burden.

Today God has blessed me with wonderful fellowship at CMU. There is no way I will repeat the past. I will not forget You. Be the strength in my heart, and the light on my path.

GCF retreat notes

Somewhere an atheist once said, "God demands us to love Him and his son." He couldn't accept that. But what if, hypothetically, there existed someone who cared for you dearly. He wanted to make sure you were always doing well at school, or with your job search. He wanted to get lunch and dinner with you. He calls regularly to make sure you are doing alright. He was always there for you when you were upset and down, and he was there to celebrate with you for all your moments of achievement. Maybe you start out suspicious of this person. "Is he a creeper?" "Does he want my kidney?" "Is he really lonely and needs a friend?" No, he already has many friends, all who think really highly of him, and all are cared by him equally and uniquely. Soon you start to realize that there really isn't anything he can possible want or gain from being your friend. You are the only one who benefits from the friendship. At this point, if someone like this truly exists, would you be his friend?

I have rejected Him once.

How can Susan, one of the chosen Daughters of Adam, a noble and beautiful queen loved by all her subjects, a person who has personally known the great Aslan, could return to the real world and forget everything she has seen and experience? No, its not like she forgot, she denied it all. How can she forget Narnia to chase after boys and careers?

I am like Susan. I have once denied it all.

"Why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever? Like a greeting card." - 500 Days of Summer

We do not pursue things that actually matter (Luke 10:18-20, Matthew 6:19-24, Luke 12:16-21, 1 Samuel 16:7)

Teach me to seek you, and reveal Yourself to me as I seek;
For unless You instruct me I cannot seek You,
And unless you reveal Yourself I cannot find You.
Let me seek You in desiring You; Let me desire You in seeking You.
Let me find You in loving You; Let me love You in finding You. 

Urbana Devos!!!

12/27/12

Colossians 4:5-6

5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Today is the first day at Urbana, and its been an interesting first day. To narrow down the topic, I decided to go meet strangers after the first message, commuters who also do not have groups usually assigned by hotel. I actually believe that when this verse talks about outsiders, it means non-believers. But in this case outsiders would be people I’ve never met. I might be making a bible interpretation fuapau, but the situation is too ironic to let pass. I wonder if I can make the most of the opportunities to meet new people here at Urbana. I know with 18,000 people, and many pre-formed groups, it is hard to meet strangers and build a real relationship from them. I have come to believe that if I cannot really build a real friendship from meeting a person, it might be better to not meet them at all. But I might be very flawed in this thinking and this verse is revealing that fact. But all in all, this is a verse that I should keep in my heart, and hope that I can be full of grace (guessing the salt means knowledge and wisdom) and be able to answer everyone in a kind and relatable way. At least let me have ears to hear the stories that people bring to this conference.

1/8/12

Philippians 1:21

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

This seems like a verse pulled out of an Urbana message. It isn’t but there are many verses in the Bible that say the exact same thing. Christ is life. And we are to die. Obviously by now this death isn’t a literal one, but a spiritual one. We are to die to ourselves and give up authority and control of our life to God, and that is how we will gain. So what do we gain? Some may start off want to gain eternal life, to continue living our comfortable and simple lives. Others more mature realize that living without a purpose brings discontentment and even despair. We then begin to seek things much greater things than what the world can give. Things like...love. We all, Christians and nonbelievers, glimpse this in our everyday lives. We see a mother care her child. We see lovers embrace and share tender moments together. We see friendships and family bonds bring happiness and joy of all degrees in people’s lives. Yet all of this is us trying to mimic the love that God pours down onto all of us from the heavens above. As we taste his abundant love, we really do realize that everything we have, every speck and splotch, in summation cannot even hold a candle to God’s love and provision. So what is the logical thing to do? Cast it all aside and take upon new titles of inheritance, and experience true joy. That is what being a Christian is. It almost sounds kind of selfish...we are always trying to find the best for ourselves.

There are days when my life is completely shaken to the core, whether by God or by an external event (September 8, 2008 and March 21, 2010 are such days). Yesterday was possibly one of those days. God, though I wish with all my heart to give you control, please let the church survive the upcoming storm.

I decided to buy and read Le Petit Prince today, after reading about it on 40daysofdating.com. Seems like a small book with many words of wisdom.

Thoughts about it to come soon!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. - Luke 10:21

The Prince has found his Rose,

so extravagant and pure.

But the Rose was too proud,

to admit her desire to be understood,

admired and loved.

With heavy heart the Prince asked for leave,

To travel to the edges of the World,

to touch all with his laughter and smile.

There he learned what True Love is,

one that speaks of Friendship and Sacrifice,

for only his Rose will he waste time for,

for only his Rose he will be responsible for,

and only his Rose he has tamed.

The Prince seeks what is unique to him,

with his Heart he has found all answers.

"What moves me so deeply, about this little prince who is sleeping here, is his loyalty to a flower--the image of a rose that shines through his whole being like the flame of a lamp, even when he is asleep." - The Fox